Monday, January 5, 2015

Hawaii's First Haole...

Captain James Cook. 

In January 1778, Cook and his crew from the HMS Resolution and Discovery made landfall in Waimea, Kauai. The explorer, navigator, cartographer and the Boss who kept his sailors scurvy-free named the archipelago the Sandwich Islands after the Earl and the First Lord of the Admiralty. (OK. He might have been a suck-up too.)

His crew restocked the ships with water, sweet potatoes, taro and other foodstuffs. They probably left behind rats, lice and a few social diseases. (Supposedly Hawaiian women were "easy".)

The good Captain went galavanting around the Pacific Ocean only to return to Hawaii in February 1779. Once again, there was a need to re-provision and repair the ships. 

The Captain and his horny crew might have desired a little nookie too. 

 This time they were anchored off the Big Island. This visit wasn't peace, love and happiness. Tensions arose when items from the ships went missing. There were threats and counter-threats. When the macho chest-thumping was over Captain Cook was doing the Dead Fish float in Kealakekua Bay. 

Obviously Captain Cook never heard the old adage. What do guests and fish have in common? After awhile they both start to stink. 

That'll learn 'em. 

Good night,


  1. Didn't the natives think his first landing was prophesied and that he was a God?
    Then on his return they got hip to the narcissistic, exploitive, white dude he really was?

  2. Dayna is right (as usual). Once the locals figured out Cook and crew were Haoles and not Gods, problems arose.
    They might have been upset when he kept repeating "These islands would make a wonderful venue for vacation time shares and Hyatt Regency hotels."
    History doesn't always get accurate quotes.