Sunday, June 12, 2016

Fight or Flight...

I'm an escapist.

For 28 years I served as a mercenary for the Poudre Fire Authority. I received good wages to battle occasional blazes and deal with medical emergencies that would make normal citizens cast their eyes skyward to an imaginary Goodyear Blimp. It was a career that suited the aggressive side of me. That's my fight instinct.

(Read all about it in my book Destroying Demons on the Diagonal)

http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&page=1&rh=n:283155,p_27:Jeff%20Sambur/

When a situation or a relationship begins to be bothersome, I take to the hills. Literally. That's my flight instinct kicking in. Maybe that's why I wander so much.

So when Dr. Lonny informed me my Prostate Specific Antigen test came in high, I went into flight mode. (After making an appointment to see a urologist on June 14th.)


I sought succor in four reliable pastimes: baseball, buddies, brews and views. I've been on the road since May 26th. 

Here's a few of the venues I gave flight to: 

Paid homage to 14 Fallen Firefighters. 

Took in five games of Junior College World Series Baseball in Grand Junction. It's always a pleasure to visit Jack, Judy and John T too.

Another visit to Great Sand Dunes National Park. I'll never tire of the sensual subtle curves of those high dunes. (Forgive me. It's been awhile since I had a GF) Its amazing what Mother Nature can do with sand, wind and water in the right setting. 

Lastly, I was ambushed by a rock on my descent off of West Spanish Peak. Outcome: A visit to the ER and four stitches. (If you want to see the gore, look it up on Facebook.) Steven Spielberg is thinking about making my self rescue into an action adventure film starring George Clooney as the Jewish blogger.


Alas, you can run but you can't hide. Occasionally I'd give thought to my upcoming Doctor's appointment. The other night I woke from an awful dream. My heart was pounding as if I was trying to keep pace with the Kenyans sprinting the NYC Marathon. 

The nightmare went like this. I was at the urologist's office. The Doctor, who had the bedside manner of Josef Mengele, told me too bluntly that I had prostate cancer. He then laughed. 

If the urologist looks like the sicko in my nightmare, I'll tell him what I think of the Aryan Race and the Final Solution. Then I'll leave. That'll teach him to mess up my night's rest.

I'm hoping this dream doesn't come true. 

Wish me luck,
Jeff











Monday, June 6, 2016

If you can't beat 'em...

Join 'em.

Lately, I've seen too many dogs in what used to be unusual places. There's canines in brewpubs, restaurants, supermarkets, Home Depots and on our trails in the National Parks. (That's a real No-No). 

The canine owners seem to have the notion it's within their rights to subject the masses to their pets. Food establishments are caving in to these ideas of entitlements gone awry. Restaurant, brewpubs and grocery stores vie for the title of being "dog friendly." Is a business "dog unfriendly" because they still follow a line of common sense?

What ever happened to our public health laws? I don't want to see human hair in my food or IPA let alone a Golden Retrievers! There's other issues at stake when pooches are in a place of business: there's the barking, the inevitable dog fights and doggie doo accidents. Worst of all would be a potential petter being bitten. 

Pet Owners! We all have to give up a portion of our freedoms as America's population increases. No there's no need  to roll over and play dead. We all have to play nice and follow a few simple rules. The days of doing exactly as we please are long gone. 

For example: I would love to get out of Barley the Van on a summery morning while wearing my invisible pajamas. But I don't. I slip on a pair of shorts and a shirt to make myself somewhat presentable. Society has unwritten rules of decorum based upon others sensibilities. I understand that concept. I may not like it, but I accept it. 

From the photos you can see I'm a dog owner too.

Fido is the most obedient, mild-mannered and low maintenance pet in the World. Even when I take him into National Parks, he doesn't harass other hikers or the wildlife. That's a Good Dog! 

For the record, I don't hate hounds. It's a pet peeve of mine that dog owners are playing their individual rights and entitlement cards too often. Your dog doesn't need to be your drinking buddy too. 

I know this is a curmudgeonly post. Andy Rooney made his living on "60 Minutes" with rants like this. All I need to do is grow those great bushy eyebrows and get discovered by CBS. 

Woof from Dog Friendly Boulder, Colorado 
Jeff






Thursday, June 2, 2016

I've never thought of myself as a...

Minimalist, until my old buddy Gladdie invited me along to see the movie of the same name  in Boulder, Colorado. 

Here's a description of the movie makers from their website:

Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus write about living a meaningful life with less stuff for 4 million readers. As featured on: ABC, CBS, NBC, BBC, TODAY, NPR, TIME, Forbes, The Atlantic, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and National Post. They live in Missoula, Montana

Holy Crap! 4,000,000 readers! I'm jazzed about 30,000 plus page views! 

Enough page view envy.

The movie detailed how owning little equates to a more fulfilling life. Joshua and Ryan embarked upon a one year road trip across our Great Land of Consumerism preaching the Gospel of Less. They filmed their talks, hugged a lot of people and connected with many Americans who might have been questioning their own personal net worth. There were interviews of people living in tiny houses, tiny apartments and owners of tiny wardrobes. There was one Dude who carried all his stuff in two small duffle bags. I can't top that.

There were no interviews of any 61 year old Jewish man living in a Barley Van down by the river. What am I? Chopped liver? 

For me, getting rid of everything was the logical step to be free to wander and wonder. My stuff was trapping me in Tucson. 

Like I mentioned in my Homeless II post, it all stems from my near ultimate biffing it experience. It's true, being as close as a wisp of wind to getting killed can change a person. 


Then again, I never owned a lot. When I made my big move to Tucson from Colorado, the moving men laughed. They told me most Americans own 6,000 pounds of stuff each! I owned less than 3,000 pounds of stuff for my entire household. The thought of shopping for anything other than food or beer makes me feel queasy.

As I've mentioned numerous times, it's a simple lifestyle. Adjustments have to be made to live on such a small scale. A person can get a bit feral. After three plus years, I'd say I've adapted well. The only things I truly miss is a printer and my Sorrel White Death Boots. I miss not having a girlfriend too, but that's not a thing.

http://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2016/03/three-years-of-homelessness.html

The movie ended with a simple message from Joshua. "Love People, Use Things. The opposite never works." 

I agree with that statement 100%. 

Jeff drinking coffee and writing this from Barley the Van,
Good Day!

PS. This is most of the stuff I own. There is one large red duffle bag, some family photos and maps at my best nephew's Keith's house in Boulder. 

PPS. It's not too late to sign up for the Great W, W J Sweepstakes. OK, the payout is sort of Minimalistic too.