Thrown off the bike...

Thursday!

This was how my summer of 2014 began. A major tumble followed up by this major owwie. (Please ignore the bikini briefs, little people require little undergarments). 

This purple mess misshaped the left side of my middle. Shorts that previously required a belt were tight on me. Unmentionable body parts were discolored too. I spent my time in boring Utah towns (isn't that a statement of redundancy?) with ice packs on my wounds. I wasn't a happy camper. 

I tried to recover on a two-week raft trip through the Grand Canyon. In that magnificent gouge I acted (correct description) as an assistant boatman. The chores left me feeling worn out and whooped. Hey! I've been retired for nearly seven years. I'm not used to working a schedule or being productive. 

My summer was starting off as a bust.

Then the Queen of Good Fortune rained down on me. On a hike down Mount Sopris, I missed my turn off from the summit. I was following West Sopris Creek when I spotted a young woman sunbathing au natural. 

From that defining moment on, all was good and right in my world. The summer was salvaged! I owe it all to the naked woman on Sopris. May God bless and protect you and provide you with some warm clothes this winter.

That's my Throwback Thursday tale.

The rest of the story can be found on the Mount Sopris post.

From Carbondale, Colorado

Jeff

He got the urge for going...

When the meadow grass was turning brown

Summertime was falling down and winter was closing in

Joni Mitchell

Atop 8,144 foot Green Mountain, I could see the inevitable approaching. The summits of Rocky Mountain National Park had the appearance of numerous squashed down vanilla ice cream waffle cones. They were spray painted with White Death (AKA snow) in the parlance of this Blogger. 

I'm no Frozen Chosen Wandering Jew. It's getting too chilly to wear flip flops on my bicycle rides to Happy Hour saloons. It's time to go.

By tomorrow, I'll be saying goodbye to Boulder until the sowing season of 2015. 

The Utah deserts are calling, but I won't wander around them for forty years like Moses and company. 

Isn't retirement great?

BTW. You can subscribe to this blog with no money down and no obligation. If you aren't 100% satisfied, you can unsubscribe anytime. 

Does the Wandering, Wondering Hindu blog offer the same great deal?

Cheers!

It was merely a...

flesh wound.

I drove the patient (Barley) to Caliber Collision for a new paint job as scheduled. The nice GEICO rep said, "Wait a minute, that's water based spray paint. We'll have it off in no time."

Faster than I could exclaim, "A pox on the vandal who painted WHY on my van," I was boogieing down Broadway in Boulder. Now, that's the way to start a day.

Please, don't tell the angry neighbor to use oil based paints next time.

I'll be moving along soon. The Front Range of Colorado is cooling down. I had to wear pants twice in the last few evenings. (My legs broke out in hives and I began to hyperventilate from the emotional strain.) 

Yep! We are one big happy traveling family once again,

Cheers!

Jeff

PS. I would still keep an eye on your neighbors though. 

We interrupt this Blog...

To bring you a word from our sponsor.

Every now and then I receive fan mail about my one and only book.

I'm pretty proud of this missive. I attached it below:

WOW!!! Just finished Destroying Demon's...   My boyfriend Hank and I (ilya) met you 4/22/14 in Utah when we were dropped off at the trail head for a one way hike of the west rim trail. The driver was a bit sketchy about where the trail head was, and before the rest of us in the van had donned our backpacks, you were off and running and yelled "Miami" here it is. You were maybe 30 yards away and you got us all on the right track. You didn't know my name but you knew we lived in Miami from our conversation. Your book is awesome. I'm a slow reader, 1 or 2 pages before I fall asleep, but I've learned a great deal about the history, geography and culture of this wonderful country from your book.   I grew up in England and Jamaica so I wasn't schooled in American history. I think your book would be a great read for our young people. It's informative and inspiring. I was shocked at the end to learn about your close call with that hit you took. Hank and I are amazed at how incredibly fit you are. Thanks for leading us in the right direction in Utah and thanks for an inspiring read. I'm sad it's over but loved every bit, especially the little vignettes from your career as a firefighter at the beginning of each state. We wish you all the best.

Ain't that great?

A former girlfriend indignantly deemed the book to be pornographic.

Buy a copy and decide.

If I get a spike in sales, I'll know the cliche "Sex Sells" is correct.

If you buy a squeaky clean new book direct from Amazon, I score $3.52. Don't give up your day job to self publish a book, even if it might be a bit "Blue." 

Find it here before the holiday rush at Amazon begins! It's available on Kindle too.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%253Daps&field-keywords=Jeff+sambur

PS. The ability to read separates humanity from the animals. Enjoy!

Jeff

We are all coping...

Numerous showers couldn't rinse away the emotional angst of Barley's external violation. 

Fido and I donned black arm bands in a display of solidarity to honor our steady-as-a-rock traveling companion. 

As of this posting, there were no suspects to this mean-spirited crime. (Although the names Mr. Mustard, Miss Scarlet, Professor Plum and Mr. Green have been bandied about). Personally, I think the Butler or an angry neighbor did it. No other vehicles were tagged in the area. Barley was singled out and the "hit" was made. 

On Monday, I'll be taking my buddy in for a new paint job. GEICO (15 minutes could save you 15% on your van's insurance. They paid me to write that) is taking care of the details, including a rental car. 

I'll have to shell out two weeks worth of Happy Hour IPAs to cover my end of the loss. What's worse is losing my snug home and hearth for a few nights. No one wins when vandals strike. We all pay the price in increased insurance premiums and wasted resources. 

Be safe out there and ever vigilant. Fido was apparently asleep on guard duty when the painter struck.

Back in Boulder...

Jeff

PS. Edna is so traumatized, she refuses to leave her post on the dashboard for a photo op. She's wearing a tiny black arm band too.

Finally! A Copilot for me...

and Barley!

I know. She's kind of small, but Man! can she wiggle!  She's not much for conversation though. But then again, I like quiet time when I drive. I'll have to work on getting her to read maps and do vacation planning researc. 

Meet Edna. In Hebrew the name translates to pleasure, rejuvenation and delight. That's a lot to ask from a tiny figurine strumming a ukelele. 

Regardless, she looks dashing on Barley's dashboard.

It's another fine Indian summer day in Colorado. 

Cheers!

A Wonderful Time was...

had by all. (I think!)

My brother (my hero and mentor) said it all when he announced to the crowd, "I never knew Jeff had so many friends!"

I had the pre-party jitters big time. I'm the kind of guy who can go days without saying anything more then, "I'll have another beer. Please!" to a bartender. For a sociable hermit like myself, I was nerve wracked until the big event began to roll along. Even I had a great time connecting with the people of my past. There were three fire chiefs there too!

If you attended thanks for coming. If not, you'll have to wait until 2024 when I turn 70. By then I will have calmed down enough to throw another soirée. 

BTW: I really turn 60 on November 15. I just didn't want to be this far north then. Brrr. I'll be in the Grand Canyon on the big day. I need to be someplace that is older than me.

Cheers!

Jeff

The family photo shot could be the cheesiest smile I ever made.