Saturday, March 25, 2017

Dispatches from No Cell Phone...

Coverage Valley...

would be an appropriate name for Panamint Valley. Verizon and company has deemed the area as unworthy of a microwave tower. I'm OK with this "No Service" approach to remote.


This desert depression is a short raven's flight west of its famous neighbor-Death Valley National Park. After spending four nights there, I call it Death Valley Lite. There's canyons, mountains, ghost towns, waterfalls, sand, solitude, abandoned mines and one Panamint Springs Resort. 


The PS Resort is the Valley's population center (about 30). When campers and motel guests stay the night, the population quadruples. Naming this crash pad a Resort is sort of a misnomer. Toilets plug up daily, hot showers are problematic, wifi is in name only and litter blows freely throughout the compound. The unofficial slogan of the staff is, "we're not paid enough to care!" 

On the plus side, the restaurant has good bar food, smiling helpers and a beer selection that puts most  Biker Bars to shame. (In other words, heaps more than Coors and Bud Lite). Purchasing an IPA is on the honor system. Choose one of 130 titles from the Winnebago sized cooler, flick its cap and start drinking. Settle up with the bartender when you're done. I like the style. 

I met Evan, a part owner of the spread. He was in his late-twenties, wore camouflage pants, long hair and a beard. His shirt announced "Keep calm and return fire." He was a wealth of information about dirt bike trails but never heard of a canyon of historical significance just fifteen miles away in the National Park. Go figure. 


Ahh! But the views from the campground of the Cottonwood and Panamint Ranges are skip a heartbeat beautiful. Happy Hour sunsets are silently thrilling, except when fighter jets from nearby China Lake Naval Weapons Center flex their might and muscle at sand dune level. Oftentimes, the aircraft are heard but not seen. The fly boys and girls are kind enough to call it quits at nightfall, thus restoring peace in the Valley. 

BTW Thank you pilots for your service to our country. 

The other population center is thirty miles south-the one full time resident ghost town of Ballarat. From 1897-1917, this mining camp/supply center boasted a post office, a Wells Fargo station, a school, a jail, a morgue, three hotels and seven saloons. There wasn't any churches. Now, there's a sign proclaiming the town to be "free." Going so far as to say, it's OK to shoot your gun. 

Freedom has its limits. Don't drive over 15 MPH past the trailers, rusting mining equipment, blue-tarp roof outbuildings and General Store. You can camp there, but it'll cost you $3 a night. Don't forget to give your neighbors a wide berth and stay out of their line of fire. 

Besides being wild and remote, Panamint Valley is just plain out there. I hiked a few canyons, went high along some hills to old mines and spent the rest of my time taking in the views. 

One day, I'll be back to do it over again. I'd even camp at the Panamint Springs Resort. Maybe (touch wood) the plumbing will be repaired.

Cheers from somewhere else out there,
Jeff






Monday, March 20, 2017

Scenes from a BUSY place..

There's 22 million humans in Southern California. I've never met most of them. I know Brad (brother from another Mother)





 I also know there was World Baseball Classic games in San Diego. That's two reasons to venture to a stupidly crowded landscape. I'll add a third reason to say those mellow Southern Californian Dudes make a very palatable, thirst quenching IPA as well.


To sum up the experience: The baseball was entertaining, the traffic scared me, Brad was fun to hang out with, the prices were earthshaking, the food better than average, the rest and relaxation was sparse, I caught another cold, the women are fit and beautiful, the hiking was non-existent, its 23 hours of noise with a one hour break,  and the weather was cool and clammy damp. 


I'm now a tired sloth. It's a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live here.


It was a unique week for me, but I'm ready to retreat to quieter places. Wont you take me back to your warm bosom Death Valley National Park?


Wish me luck on my drive...
Cheers!
Jeff 




Monday, March 13, 2017

A Land of Superlatives...

"Hottest, Driest and Lowest" are the oftentimes mentioned descriptors of Death Valley National Park. Those words are imprinted on gift shop T-shirts so it must be true. However, there's so much more to Death Valley. 


It's the largest National Park in the lower 48, contained in the most populated state in the Union, yet, you can find plenty of solitude. A whopping 92% of this stark jewel is designated Wilderness. Thank you, President Clinton. 


Now, I'm at a stage of my life when I see gaggles going right, I'll go left. If you are willing to walk a few miles further up a canyon or mountain (like I am) you'll have it for your own. It's quiet too. 


While I drive the low trafficked byways, I'm constantly scanning the scenery for a canyon or an obscure old road to explore. Oftentimes, the hike will lead me to an abandoned mine, complete with derelict cabins and discarded dreams. Most of the Diggers in DV never struck "pay dirt." I'm guessing making the Big Bucks might have been icing on the cake for these hermits. Many were probably attracted to the silence and the big wide open spaces. Same as us modern day tourists. 

Two of my favorite activities involve sunrises lighting up the Panamint Mountains and sunset Happy Hours while viewing the Amargosa Range. All I have to do is turn my folding chair 180 degrees while holding a hot or cold beverage. The sun does all the rest. It's a dirty retirement job, but someone has to do it.


Cheers from Dana Point, CA. 
Where did all these people come from? 
World Baseball Classic starts manana.
I knew there's a good reason why I'm here.





Jeff

The last photo is my newest Real Estate scheme. Condos in the Panamints. I'll cut you a great deal.

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Fido! I don't think...

we're in New Zealand anymore!


And we are not. Me, Barley the Van and my obedient Fido are now ensconced in the Death Valley, California region. En route from Phoenix, I noticed six announcements for upcoming Gun Shows, one "Hillary for Prison" sign, two Confederate flags, and one Harley Davidson rider (sans helmet) sporting a unconcealed pistol on his hip. Just like the mellow vibe of Kiwi-land, only different. 


Ain't America Great Again?


My cycle of life continues...despite a detour to the World Baseball Classic in San Diego, I'll concentrate my efforts on being in the "Big Wide Open." Death Valley, Joshua Tree, Mojave, Grand Canyon, Bryce, Zion, Arches, Escalante-Grand Staircase and Canyonlands, (not in that order), before I see my pot-smoking friendly home of Colorado again. 


Keep looking in, this ought to be a good roll. As my father Sid (May he RIP) would say, "God Willing!" 


From beautiful Downtown Shoshone, CA (population 31) Goodnight,
Jeff



Tuesday, February 28, 2017

"There's a lot of hype...

to New Zealand." 

Unsolicited quote from a young Frenchman on the Routeburn Track.

I came to New Zealand with high hopes of extending my almost perfect summer of 2016 into the Southern Hemisphere. 



But as the saying goes, the best laid plans of mice and Wandering Wondering Jews often go awry. How was I to know NZ would be in the throes of the worst summer in decades? The season that went missing was so obviously awful newspaper editorials, residents and TV News programs commented of its overall crappiness. (See photo). It wasn't just me thinking WTF!


My "Welcome to New Zealand" cough and cold didn't help my disposition either. It was one gloomy, gray, wind-crazed and bone numbing day after another. Peaking out of my window in the morning made me want to return to bed and weep. Good thing, I brought 70 Starbucks instant coffees with me. Caffeine forced me to do something. I donned my foul weather gear and went through the motions of an active overseas ramble. To be honest, I wasn't feeling it. I experienced loneliness. A sure sign of a journey gone bad. 

So...I was spending heaps of Greenbacks and not having fun. BTW: Don't travel here thinking this is a bargain basement destination. It's not! For example: On the International Beer Index, a six-pack of decent IPA will set you back US$18.50. A gallon of gas is US$7.00. 

Now back to this blog's catchy "Bring you into the tent" title. 


Tourism is NZ's number one foreign currency money maker. 3.4 million International guests arrived in 2016. For comparison there are 4.7 million Kiwis. 

A virtual cottage industry of guide and shuttle services have sprung up like fresh moss after a rain to deal with the onslaught of selfie-stick wielding foreigners. Worrisome wanderers (not me) will pay up to NZ$100 for a guided three hour hike to a waterfall. Heck! I would provide the same service for half that AND carry their backpacks. 

I met and spoke to many guides. One common trait they all possessed was a Polly-Anna personality coupled with a flair for the understatement. I.E.:
"We shall get a wee bit of rain today!" True meaning: if you hold your head up with your mouth open, you will drown. 
Or
"It might be a wee bit windy on top." True meaning: Watch out that you don't get conked on the noggin by an airborne Volkswagen Beetle. 

In the more sought after destinations such as Milford, Mount Cook and Glacier Country, helicopters drone over the airspace above while sand flies rule the ground below. It's a noisy, not very wilderness-like scene. 

The official NZ Government Tourism Board is the World's oldest. By now they have figured out a way to lure people (and their money) from faraway places to this small Island Nation. It's done with clever marketing. There's a lot of overstatement going on. New Zealand created nine "Great" Walks. I ambled along six of them. On my scale, I'd rate three as pretty good. (Milford, Abel Tasman and Routeburn) Two as so-so (Tongariro and Kepler) and one as incredibly below average. ((Lake Weikaremoana). 


Of these six, I would do Abel Tasman and Milford again.

Apparently, the idea of "Great" like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The other overused descriptor is "Must See!" Every town, camper van park and museum uses this phrase. Oftentimes the "must see" object is pretty mundane and somewhat common in these parts. I.E.: Waterfalls. (A steep landscape with heaps of precipitation equals a lot of waterfalls)

Whoa! Before you think I detested my stay here. Au contraire! I just wish the Tourism industry would tone down the above mentioned hype. New Zealand is a diverse, beautiful and wild land. It's occupied by many kind, honest, polite, proper and gentle people. It's insanely safe (except for the narrow roads and dicey trails). 

Tourists can let their guard down here and get away with it. I liked that feeling a lot. The older I become the more I enjoy a sense of security. New Zealand is an easy (in a GREAT way) destination. It's good value for its comfort, cleanliness and abundance of helpful citizens. 

I'll be back with a game plan to arrive earlier and stay longer. One international guest can't possibly be a witness to two of the most horrendous summers on record! 

BTW. Summer did show its blissfully warm, mellow and happy side in the past ten days. I'll even go on record to say I regained my Mojo! 


Yes, I'll surely be back within the next four years.

Next stop!
Death Valley National Park, California 

I'm still running for President in 2020. The First Lady position is still open too. 


All these photos are from Arthur's Pass NP. The hikes were great.

Cheers!
Jeff

Sunday, February 26, 2017