Wilderness Interruptus...

When old buddies Nelson and Bill invited me to tag along on their Bridger Wilderness backpack trip in Wyoming’s Wind River Range, I answered “Hell Yes!” 

They had an ambitious plan of a week long adventure with multiple night stopovers in a few base camps. One goal that caught my attention was to hang in a rarely visited part of Bridger’s 428,000 acre Wilderness. The place (I swore secrecy, but I can be bought) is popular with big wall climbers but not-so-much with the hiking crowd. 

Through the years, I’ve discovered backpacking is a sure “Lose Weight! Ask me how!” ordeal. On my last three night trip into Colorado’s Maroon Bell Wilderness, I shed 3-5 pounds. 

http://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2018/08/the-future-aint-what.html

I reckoned I’d have the girth of 16 ounce can of Imperial IPA if I were in for a week. So I settled for five nights of weight loss. 

We met in Pinedale, Wyoming. That evening we all adjourned to the Wind River Brewpub, home of mediocre microbrews. (It’s the only game in town). We commiserated about our ailments and owies, the current never ending political and Constitutional Crisis (in whispered tones) and laughed in between. We set a game plan of a 6 am breakfast followed by a 57 mile commute to the trailhead. We then bid each other goodnight. 

The parking lot was awash with vehicles. (I was here with Nelson a decade ago. This wasn’t the case). I parked Barley at an angled spot. A drugstore Cowboy (when your jeans have ironed creases and theirs no horseshit on your shiny boots, you are a drugstore Cowboy) informed me Barley might be in the way of the incoming horse trailers. I moved a few feet and heard, “Blap! Blap! Blap!” OY! I’m no mechanic nor do I pretend to be one on TV, but I know this is No Bueno. I hustled over to Bill and asked for his opinion. We checked the oil level (OK) and looked for leaks or hanging stuff (none). He sagely advised me to take it easy going back to Pinedale with my windows open. Barley was now exhausting noxious gases into my living space. Double OY.

We hit the trail en route to Marm’s Lake. Upon arriving we noticed all the primo campsites were occupied. We settled for a sloped chunk of property above the lake. This would be our home for two nights. 

The next morning we all went off in different directions. Bill volunteered to scout the route to our secret Nirvana. Nelson went off to do bonus miles. Me? On Nelson’s suggestion I headed up to Texas Pass to play voyeur into the Cirque of the Towers. (The reason for all the vehicles in the parking lot). 

It was a beautiful hike on an atypical weather day. Warm, windless and very blue. The Wind River Range can witness White Death anytime of the year. In the 80’s I woke to an inch in late July. Apparently a massive high pressure system loomed overhead. I wasn’t complaining.

The trail went up to Shadow Lake. It was a crowded camper scene. I spotted a worn down social trail leading uphill along a creek. I passed a guided quorum of backpackers and was then alone. 

At Texas Lake, the route went vertical to the pass. There were tight switchbacks consisting of slippery gravel. Yes, I wiped out. No blood, no foul. At the top, there was a sign indicating the border between the Teton and Shoshone National Forests, but no vista of the Cirque. I dropped down a few hundred feet, until I saw what the hubbub was all about. OK, it’s an amazing place.

See for yourself.

I had lunch with a view while watching backpackers come up two by two. I retreated back and discovered all those hikers knew each other. They were a supersized extended family of Ukrainians. Upon learning this, I called out, “ Nostrovia Comrades! Welcome to the new Nation of the US of Kremlinstan!” I didn’t really say that, but I thought about it. I smiled all the way back to camp. 

I stopped grinning when I realized my mechanical predicament. My food supply would run out by Saturday. The mechanics in Pinedale cease work on the Jewish Sabbath. I needed to be out by Thursday for a Friday repair. I had one day to do a look into the “Promised Land.”

I’ll make a long blog short. There’s no trail into the mystery valley. That’s why few hikers trod in there. Which leads me to another point. I hate bushwhacking. When I was a grunt for the US Forest Service, my jobs included firefighting, setting up timber sales and doing forest inventory. There were no trails included in my job description. I’d walk, crawl, fall and  curse over downed trees. I’d  head straight up hillsides without the benefit of switchbacks. I sweated a lot. At the end of the work day, I was bruised and beaten down. I fertilized the forest with my blood. Now, I’m not really a fan of going sans trails.

So... I got lost. Nelson and Bill were somewhere behind me. I waited and realized, I missed a turn.  I retreated back to established turf while looking for my screwup. On a hillside, I saw a trace. I followed it up with the thread coming and going. Eventually it opened up to an amazing sight. There were BIGLY wall peaks, domes and ponds. There was no Nelson and Bill in view. I sighed, took a few pix and returned the way I came.

That night I had a swank outfitter camp to myself. On Thursday, I hoofed out ten miles. I spent the night in an overpriced Pinedale hotel. By noon on Friday, I was $740 poorer but a working Barley the Van richer. The Pinedale brewpub’s beer didn’t improve with age. 

Final Note to Nelson and Bill: I’m sorry if I caused any duress. Trust me when I say I’d rather have been in the Wilderness than Pinedale, Wyoming...again. My treat for Happy Hour when I see you in the Fall. 

From Victor, Idaho ( Yawn! )

Cheers!

Jeff

Maybe I believe in God...

after all.

Seven years ago in northern Montana a vehicle struck me and my bicycle from behind. The sedan was traveling about 50 mph. I broke eleven vertebrae and one sternum while I tumbled and skidded for thirty-five feet. I woke up in a ditch. Any exposed flesh looked like I had a run-in with a belt sander. I was slathered in my own blood. The impact literally knocked me out of my shoes. I was broken,  bruised and scraped but not dead. 

The above incident changed me. Very few days go by where I don’t ponder, “How and why did I survive?” 

 I’ve come up with a few answers:

* I landed just right.

* I was wearing a helmet.

* I have strong bones.

* It wasn’t my turn to die.

* A Higher Power thinks I’m OK.

* My Mission in Life wasn’t complete.

I’m not a religious Jew. When my Mom passed in 1972, my connection to synagogues and organized prayer went six-feet under along with her. That being said, I consider myself a Jew with a 100% Kosher Soul. I’m proud to be a Member of the Tribe.

I just don’t go looking for God in a Temple on High Holy Days or Shabbat. I look elsewhere. I go to places that require effort. I sacrifice a lot of sweat. There are times I physically suffer. I think of this as a form of “paying penance” for past transgressions. It’s tough love religion. 

Ahh! But when I arrive on a mountaintop, a canyon overlook or see creatures great or small, I know I’ve been blessed for my perseverance. If I’m lucky and no other humans are around, I’ll exclaim out loud, “Thank You! This is so beautiful.” It’s never a good idea to take anyone for granted, let alone God.

Was my Second Chance bestowed on me due to unfinished business?

* Maybe to be a walking example on how bicycle helmets save lives.

* Maybe to entertain, educate and enlighten people through my Blog.

* Maybe to really become the 46th President of the US.

http://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2018/06/a-presidential-platform-worth.html

God works in mysterious ways. 

Lastly I think everyone should pursue their own personal Almighty, whether you find it in a Mosque, Church, Synagogue or the Great Outdoors.

Have fun, just be careful out there. Second Chances are not a given.

Jeff

A Presidential Platform worth...

standing upon.

“The foundation of our Empire was not laid in the gloomy age of Ignorance and Suspicion, but at an Epoch when the rights of mankind were better understood and more clearly defined, than at any former period.”

George Washington 

With this quote from America’s Founding Father, I’ll ask this simple question. How did the US devolve back to a “gloomy age of Ignorance and Suspicion” in such a short time? 

The answer is, by the Leadership of an uncaring, simple minded, bigoted, heartless Man-Child. That’s how. America the Beautiful has now become America the Badass. 

In 2020, this has got to change. 

On November 16, 2016, I entered the political fray with this announcement.

http://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2016/11/my-2020-presidential-campaign-begins.html

Reactions were subdued. I suppose potential constituents desire more info than a hat stating, “Make America Great Again.” Well, maybe not. 

Here’s The Basics: 

My Administration will be 100% Fake News Free. (That includes “Alternative Facts”.) A Wise Man once told me, “Jeffy! If you tell the truth the first time, your story never has to change.” So True.

My Cabinet will be a Rainbow Coalition of the best and the brightest. Candidates will be chosen regardless of their race, religion, gender or sexual orientation. My team will be knowledgeable and passionate about the Agency they preside over. Ryan Zinke, Scott Pruitt, Betsy DeVos, Jefferson Sessions and Ben Carson need not reapply. Integrity matters.

To sum it up. This Administration will tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help us God. 

As I mentioned in my last post, 

http://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2018/06/szyja-sambor-was-my-fathers.html

The Pillars of this platform will be Education, Environment and Enlightenment. ( Triple E for brevity ) There are subdivisions.

First E = Education: 

* The Federal Budget will reflect an increase in spending for Public Education, Arts, Humanities and Sciences. Sorry Generals the money will come from the Military. In 2015, the Department of Defense consumed 54% of the Federal Budget. Our Nation’s Priorities need a realignment. 

* Making  Higher Education available to all promising students will be a goal of this Administration. (Including Voc-Tech programs). The Federal Student Loan Program will be revamped in favor of our budding teachers, scientists, engineers, artists, doctors and mechanics. 

* I’ll sign an Executive Order requesting our Public schools begin a systematic approach to teaching US and World History. How can Future Generations learn from our past digressions when they aren’t aware of them? History must be taught in a truthful, engaging manner. We need to haul the skeletons out of our Nation’s closet. 

* As President, I’ll take a page from New York City’s legendary Mayor LaGuardia, and read to America’s Children. The program will be called “The Children’s Hour.” Instead of reading comics (per LaGuardia) I’ll read children’s books with a message of brotherhood, environmental awareness and other feel good themes. After the reading, there will be a call in question and answer period. I’ll remind the parents who are listening that learning/education doesn’t stop when the school bell rings. It’s a full-time job. I’m  sure Mr. Rogers would approve. 

Second E = Environment: 

* The EPA will regain their power and funding to monitor and protect our Nation’s Natural Resources. What good is $$$ if our future generations don’t have clean water, soils or air? Ask the folks in Flint, Michigan for an answer. 

* We will be a Worldwide Team Player.  The US will rejoin the Paris Climate Agreement. No longer will climate change be considered a “Chinese Hoax.” Our Universities and research centers will be tasked to seek solutions for reducing America’s Carbon Footprint. We will lead by example. As the saying goes, There is No Planet B. 

* Grand Staircase/Escalante and Bear Ears National Monuments will go back to their original boundaries. Unless! Local communities can show this Administration a statistical boon in their economies with the rollback of acreage. Remember, this will be a fact based Administration.

This Administration will add Wilderness Areas, National Monuments and Parks. There’s never enough Wild-lands. Read why.

http://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2018/04/the-fort-collins-syndrome.html?m=1

* The National Parks Service, Bureau of Land Management, US Forest Service and other Natural Resources Agencies will all get a healthy funding increase. 

* POTUS # 46, won’t be taking vacations on the golf courses of Florida, ( I’m too young to play the Final Sport) I’ll be hiking in our Wilderness Areas and National Parks with the Superintendents and Staff. I want to hear their reports on what’s going on at the ground level of America’s best ideas. (Wilderness Act of 1964 and Organic Law of 1916 creating the National Park Service). Ten citizens will be chosen from a lottery to join in the hike. The lucky winners will receive a T Shirt stating, “I hiked with # 46.” 

* When disasters strike (Natural or Manmade), we will utilize all of our Nation’s resources (including the Military) to put the victims lives back on track ASAP. This will be a coordinated response between all Agencies. This President will be on scene distributing handshakes, hugs, kudos, basic necessities and tunes ups if needed.  I won’t pitch paper towels at anyone. Lame excuses such as it’s “an island surrounded by water. Big water. Ocean Water.” will not be accepted or tolerated. 

Third E = Enlightenment 

* Our Nation’s Birth occurred in the Age of Reason or Enlightenment.  (From Wikipedia, a time of “advance ideals like liberty, progress, tolerance, fraternity, constitutional government and separation of church and state. “) My Administration’s goal will be to go “back to the future.” We will work at becoming a kinder and gentler Nation. Here’s a few of the issues.

*  Reasonable Gun Control Measures. I alone have the solution for passing legislation on Second Amendment Rights. As President I’ll invite all the Congressmen and Women who are monetarily suckled by the NRA to the White House. As they walk toward the Oval Office, they will negotiate a gauntlet of graphic images from the killing fields of Las Vegas, Nevada, Parkland, Florida and Sutherland Springs, Texas.  Once seated, I will ask by a show of hands, “Who gets my point?” The ones who have been morally shaken will be thanked and dismissed. Those Congress people left sitting will hear from three survivors of the carnage. Their stories will relate to what it’s like to come under fire at an outdoor concert, a school or in a church. If they are still unmoved, I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing one day they will have to answer to a higher power than the POTUS. 

For my last blog on this subject: http://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2016/07/freedom-is-not-free.html

* A Zero Tolerance Policy on any and all Hate Crimes. Our Federal Law Enforcement Agencies will be placed on notice to pursue and prosecute individuals and groups who single out victims based upon their race, religion or sexual orientation. In other words, go after the miscreants who break the Golden Rule. 

* A workable Foreign Policy. No longer will the US alienate our Allies. We will once again treat these countries in a respectful manner. There will be no more Bullying! The US will build bridges instead of walls to further the notion of World Peace. Our Nation will cease snuggling up to countries led by despots. Russia will once again be classified as “an Evil Empire.” (Quote from President Reagan’s speech in 1983).

* We will have immigration reform without breaking families apart. Period.

*  All National Championship Teams will be invited to the White House. I don’t give a coin toss if any players exercised their First Amendment Rights to drop a knee. (I can’t wait to see the photos of me shaking hands with an NBA center!)

* Declare Kwanhanumas a National Holiday. A display of unity in a divided Land. (Kwanza, Hanukkah and Christmas)

* Tax Relief for the poor and middle class will be a National goal. “Trickle Down” economics doesn’t work. From Wikipedia: “A 2012 study by the Tax Justice Network indicates that wealth of the super-rich doesn't trickle down to improve the economy, but it instead tends to be amassed and sheltered in tax havens with a negative effect on the tax bases of the home economy.” 

Zero are the number of billionaires who withheld another Get richer scheme because they would have to pay more in taxes. Sorry, Koch Brothers, it’ll be time for you to open your wallets to fund the government instead of funding your legislative lackeys. 

In summary, America will be managed for the long term. Our style will be predominantly non-confrontational, orderly and relaxed. No longer will citizens wake up each morning and ask, “What the #@&* is going on today?” The days of chaos will be behind us. Good riddance to them. 

Finally the 800 pound gorilla in the room. As of this posting, I’m still lacking a First Lady. The American People won’t take me seriously without one. So.... my people have been talking to Melania’s people. There’s a possibility we can “flip her” to my side. However she will have to leave That Infamous Jacket behind with her Ex.

Please vote in the upcoming Midterm elections. Give my Administration a Congress who desires to Make America Civil Again. Together we can Drain the Cesspool. 

Thank You!

I’m Jeff Sambur and I approve of this platform. Feel free to share it with friends and family. 

If there’s a groundswell of support, I’ll start a GoFundMe campaign. Your donations wouldn’t  go toward legal fees or hush money to an overpriced Porn Star. Trust me on that.

Last photo: A young constituent asked me to pose with her for a selfie shot. The word is getting out.