The Goodness of Gestures.

In the aftermath of my should-have-killed-me accident, I was well…depressed.

Who wouldn’t be? I was rear-ended on my bicycle by a sedan traveling at 50 MPH! It was an Uber sucker punch. 

For months I resided in a belly button to neck brace. Every part of me was sore, scarred or scabbed. Even my toenails ached. Worst of all, was the big questions. How well will I heal? Will I get my active life back or will I become the world’s first full-time nonfiction book reader? These questions and mountains of angst kept me up at night. I was in a bad state of mind.

One day, Rosie emailed me. Her message was short and sweet. (Like her) “Jeff, I made something for you. I hope it cheers you up. It’s in the mail. Keep getting better!” Of course, I thanked her beforehand. 

Eventually I reluctantly returned  to Tucson for another winter of discontent. After a session of physical therapy, I found a cardboard box at my door. I brought it inside and opened it. It was a Ride The Rockies Team Bar2Bar themed quilt! The panels were the tank tops of twenty years of my “drinkers with a bicycle riding problem” team. I sashayed backward after spreading  it out on the floor. I alternated between laughing and crying. 

I called Rosie immediately. “Rosie! This is the best gift I have ever received. Thank you so much!” I meant every word and then some.

 It took almost a year but I did heal! I spent my final winter of discontent in Tucson getting rid of stuff. I had made the decision to go “Homeless by Choice.” If it didn’t fit into Barley the Van, it was gone. I was pretty draconian on this. There were two materialistic sentimental items that made the cut.

A) Fido the porcelain pug who was gifted to me by a long lost friend. A woman who was capable of making me laugh like no other. 

B) Rosie’s Team Bar2Bar quilt. It fit nicely on my almost Queen-sized Barley the Van bed.

Both Fido and Rosie’s quilt survived those 6.5 years of my rootless existence. However, like me they aged. All four of Fido’s stubby legs have been Superglued back onto his frame. The Team Bar2Bar quilt was faded and frayed. There was no way either was going into a dumpster.

When Covid (SPIT!) struck I phoned Rosie. 

After commiserating about the misery of Covid, I got to the point. “I’d like to commission you for a second quilt. The Bar2Bar one is looking rough, but I can’t pitch it. Would you like a “stay in place” project? This time I’ll pay for your creation.” 

“Sure! I have to finish a baby quilt first, then I’ll get on it.” 

I desired a larger quilt with a National Park theme for my Durango home. She pointed me to an  Amazon site for the panels, and away we went. A little over a year later, (It took Michelangelo four years to paint the Sistine Chapel. Artistic genius takes time)  I met Rosie in May, 2021 at a post-Rockies game pub. I wandered in with a few friends as well. Rosie had already draped the quilt over a railing for all to see. I stopped to take the wonder in.. “Rosie! It’s beautiful!! You outdid yourself on this one.” Once again I meant it. Then I gave her a big squeeze hug.

And yes, I did send her a check in which she responded. “Jeff! It’s too much!” 

My reply? “Not at all, you have no idea on how much that Team Bar2Bar quilt meant to me. This is my simple way of paying you back.” 

Here’s my point. Rosie performed a gesture of goodness. She didn’t have to play Good Samaritan but she did. Here was a potential mitzvah (good deed) moment and she seized it.

There are life lessons here and I can be trained.

So now that I’m settled down in a tight community where everyone knows everybody,  but me,

I’m trying my hand at gestures of goodness. 

When a neighbor had a Buddha purloined from the front of her townhome, I instigated a local fundraiser to replace it. Marcia is still enthused about her new jolly Buddha. 

https://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2021/02/what-would-buddha-do.html

At a block party, I picked up an extra case of IPA to barter for Durango Food Bank donations. We netted $53 for a worthy cause.

If I hear a friend/neighbor is sick, injured or just feeling down, I’ll drop off a meal’s worth of Minnesota Soup or Sambini’s Famous Kosher Green Chili. 

http://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2020/01/

Will any of these deeds end poverty, bring about World Peace or curtail Climate Change? Of course not. BUT maybe someone else will notice. Then we can start a movement! I have a name picked out already.

“The Rosie Make a Quilt Good Gesture Foundation.” I nominate Rosie for CEO. 

Please consider becoming a member. 

Thanks!

Jeff

The Myth of the Bucket…

List.

In 2019, I was performing a welfare check on one of my favorite humans on the planet. Joe (AKA Trauma) was in his epilogue chapter of Stage Four liver cancer. Our conversation was anything but the usual light banter of jokes, sporting news and old memories. The overall tone was somber and forced.

In an awkward moment, Joe spoke out, “Sambini! You’d be proud of me. I finally retired!” 

“That’s great. Joe.”

“Yeah, some retirement Right?!” 

A few months later, Joe was gone. He was 62 years old. Joe’s Bucket List fit with room to spare in an urn containing his ashes.

http://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2019/06/parting-is-nothing-but.html?m=0

Now when I’m involved in conversations with friends or acquaintances, our dreamy future plans often takes center stage. If I hear the cliche “It’s on my bucket list” a few times AND if they are older than 50.  I’ll interject “Well, Dontcha know,  you probably have more days behind you than in front of you. What are you waiting for?

This is shocking news to many, when it’s just simple math and statistics. (The life span of Americans has been declining too. Covid made it worse). 

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m all in favor of creating travel or experience goals. (But only if you mean doing them!) In the last decade, I’ve been knocking off many: the Galápagos Islands, Machu Picchu (twice), the Camino de Santiago (twice), hiking in the Alps, the West Coast Trail on Vancouver Island, The Torrens del Paine Loop,  hiking the wild Portuguese Coast, hugging Redwoods,  getting into the Maze District (twice), finally seeing the Wave, going on an Hawaiian whale watch, and now getting into the high country of the nearby San Juan Mountains to name a few.

It was nearly a decade ago too when I became well aware of my own mortality. In July 2011,  I survived a bicycle vs. sedan collision in which three doctors assured me most cyclists would have perished. It was a life changing event. Life or death is sometimes a matter of landing just right. Apparently I  “nailed” the landing. 

This is why I abhor wasting days. As  Founding Father Thomas Jefferson said, “Never put off for tomorrow, what you can do today.” This includes Bucket Lists. 

Joe would concur.

PS. I’m currently available for Bucket List mentoring. My rates are reasonable. Happy Hour with or without dinner.

Cheers,

Jeff

“Jeffy! I don’t have time…

It was way back when on a yearly Florida pilgrimage to see my Dad. (AKA Sid), when I noticed his reading habits. 

Just like a precision Swiss watch a Sunday edition Palm Beach Sun Sentinel newspaper would materialize at his door. Sid would then meticulously sort it out in order of importance. TV section placed reverently by his remote. Grocery ads stacked into a pile. International and National news sections placed on top. Beneath were the local news and arts and entertainment last. The sports section got the heave ho, unless I was around. Through the course of a week, he’d ration out that one newspaper. An article one day, a section the next day and maybe interspersed with a rest day. 

Me being me, thought, “Hmmm! I’ll call the Sentinel and buy Sid an everyday subscription of newspapers. That way, he’d be up on current events and he wouldn’t have to dole out his news each day.”  So that’s what I did.

A few days later, I got a call from Sid. 

“Jeffy!” He shouted. It was in his tune me up tone of voice. 

“Yes? What’s wrong?”

“Did you get me a subscription of daily newspapers?”

“Yes. I thought you’d like that.” 

“Jeffy! I don’t have TIME to read the newspaper! I’m BUSY!”

Mind you this came from a man whose daily schedule revolved around meal purchasing and preparation. The other hours were spent napping. 

So if you’ve been following my blog along, you’ve picked up the “BUSY! “ capitalized for emphasis.

This is a Sidism. I consider it a Yogism only less poignant or hilarious. 

So now, when I phone people, I’ll ask (if they pick up), “Are you BUSY? Do you have time to talk?. I’ll keep this short.” 

Most Americans lead BUSY lives. I don’t and I won’t.  

There were heaps of other Sidisms. Here’s a few of the Sambur family favorites.

“Wait awhile! Wait awhile! You mean to tell me…” He said this when he was trying to grasp a new concept. 

“I analyzed the situation. I should have been a psychiatrist.” 

“Jeffy! You need to be your own Doctor.” 

“God Willing!”

“You’re pissing your money away.” This was his financial advice. 

“You’re talking crazy!” (I use this one all the time. So succinct and straightforward).

So… on the eve of a Father’s Day weekend, I’d like to say, thank you Sid for all of your lines of wisdom. We didn’t always see eye to eye (I was three inches taller than you) on things, but I  knew you always loved and cared about me. You were a little man with BIGLY opinions. You were a character. 

Like your youngest turned out to be.

Cheers to all the great Dads out there. Sid was one of them.

Jeff