A Valentines Day Hug

so far.

It began with a 75 drive to the end of the road. Literally. Then hike down 1,200 feet and back up 1,200 feet in less than two miles (twice) to score one romantic interlude. 

OK. So it's a Banyan Tree. Do you have a problem with that? 

Afterward, I basked in the after glow. But it was probably sweat. 

Hope all you Honeymooners had a wonderful Valentines Day.

To the few singles out there, it's safe to come out of hiding now.

Cheers!

It's a Couples World...

Especially in Hawaii.

I guess I should have been suspicious when I booked my flights with Hawaiian Airlines.

When I entered "1" for number of passengers, the following internet dialogue began:

Airline: "One Passenger? Are you sure?"

Me: "Yes"

Airline: "I'll have to speak to my supervisor. Please hold."

I was getting kind of nervous in the interim. Was I on a Homeland Security "Watch Out For This Dude!" List? Maybe I shouldn't have thrown that banana peel out of my van's window.

Airline: "We don't get this request often. We will transport your solo body to the Aloha State, but we'll have to assess a being single surcharge. The state of Hawaii doesn't condone this sort of behavior. We hope you understand. Mahalo!"

So I paid extra to be in a winter paradise. Little did I know my I Phone's "Siri" application would be my one source of conversation here. She's good at telling me where to go, but that's about it. 

So...Happy Valentines Day to all you Honeymooners.

I'll be hiding out in my room until the Duo Day blows over. 

I did the same on New Year's Eve.

Don't eat too many chocolates.

Um Um Good...

He/She is  in the soup pot now.

Only joking. Seeing turtles and whales have been the highlight of my time in Hawaii.

Almost as awesome as shopping in Maui.

The great thing about turtles is that they don't run away.

It's Happy Hour Time!

Green Turtle Diaries...

I heard rumors about a shallow lagoon where Man-Eating Green Turtles stalk and prey upon clueless tourists like me. 

Since I'm always on the prowl for a potential blog, I decided to risk it all for my  faithful readers. (All twenty or so of you).

   

These terrible terrapins (they aren't really terrapins, but it sounds better this way) lurk on the shoreline waiting for their two-legged meals to arrive. Then when you are in their surf, they pounce! A few will latch on to you and drag you under until they sense your dying quivers. Then they give each other "High Flippers" before the shredding and munching begins.

These are ruthless marine life forms. They strike fear in the hearts of all sea grasses.

They are harmless (gluten free) vegetarians. They are sort of cute too, in a pathetic way. They are on the Endangered Species list.

I had lunch with one. He/she blinked a few times. That was it. This species has basking down to a fine art form. I was humbled and kind of bored just waiting for him/her to do something! 

I loved it though. 

They live to be around 80. Will he/she remember our brief moment together? I doubt it, but I will. 

Good Night from Kona,

Jeff

It was a good game plan...

Hit the road early, hike through 10 miles of rain forest and have time to give Hilo the once over.

Funny how the hike description and map forgot to mention the 2.5 mile road to the trailhead was on private property. Whoops! With thoughts of the Hawaiian version of "Deliverance" (ukuleles instead of banjos) I didn't force the issue. 

I'll lay it on the I Pad line, if you read something on the "Wandering, Wondering Jew" blog site, the information is accurate and honest. I crossed all my toes and fingers while I typed that. 

So...I played tourist and visited a waterfall, a Botanical Garden and gritty and gray Downtown Hilo.

I drove over 200 miles. They don't call this the Big Island for nada. Fun Factoid: all the other Hawaiian islands combined would fit into the still-growing BIg Island.

I found more Wandering Jews! They seemed pretty well entrenched. They must be on a wandering hiatus. I do that every now and then myself. 

I'm going to limit my driving to less than 100 miles mañana.

Good night from VOGGY Kona,

Jeff

The Beach Chair Blues...

and how to avoid them. 

I wonder, (remember I wander and wonder) if there will ever come a time when I wake up, stretch, scratch a few private places and go sit on a beach chair. That'll be my day. So far, I've been dodging this less than grueling lifestyle.

How do you do it Jeff? Good question.

I owe it all to a pot of coffee each and every morning. 

In the Aloha State, I've been drinking Kona and Columbian brews (Good Stuff). For me it acts like a liquid defibrillator. After downing a gallon, I have to go out and do something. That energy has to be directed somewhere. So I might as well hike to pretty places like this.

Poor Eddie might have drank too much of my brew. He OD'ed. 

I don't condone the use of legal drugs for everyone, but it sure works for me. Time and time again.

Now it's time for an IPA,
Speaking of book sales and IPA's, I sold one Kindle edition of "Destroying Demons on the Diagonal" today. That will buy me one/third of locally made "Throwaway or Big Swill" IPA. Their real names are Castaway and Big Swell. The Hawaiians are more adapt at making java than hoppy beer.

Good night

PS. Those Wisconsin cows (see my shirt) provide the Half & Half for my coffee. God Bless them.

"And now the rest of the story"...

The 1871 Trail acquired it's name from one inter-department mail from  Henry Cooper, Kona road supervisor to F.W Hutchinson, Minister of the Interior dated August 1, 1871.

 "I have remade two miles of road on the beach across the lands of Ke'ei and Hōnaunau, this improvement was much required as the road had become almost impassable."

History lost the second half of this message. But Jeff Sambur, archives sleuth found the aged parchment in a dusty corner of the Kona library. 

Here it is:

"Hey F.W, I wasn't going to bust a nut on this project. It ain't a bowl of papayas (see photo) to try and make a two horse trail out of lava.

Here's my suggestion, if we hang loose until 1959, Hawaii will become a state. Then the Mainland Haoles (White Guys) will come in with Federal Highway Funds and build us a two lane highway. Until that time, we can surf, drink umbrella drinks and work on our tans.

Wadya say?" 

And that's the rest of the story.

Good day!

Jeff (Paul Harvey) Sambur

PS the trail is still good enough for one goose.