Friday, February 6, 2015

"And now the rest of the story"...


The 1871 Trail acquired it's name from one inter-department mail from  Henry Cooper, Kona road supervisor to F.W Hutchinson, Minister of the Interior dated August 1, 1871.

 "I have remade two miles of road on the beach across the lands of Ke'ei and Hōnaunau, this improvement was much required as the road had become almost impassable."

History lost the second half of this message. But Jeff Sambur, archives sleuth found the aged parchment in a dusty corner of the Kona library. 

Here it is:
"Hey F.W, I wasn't going to bust a nut on this project. It ain't a bowl of papayas (see photo) to try and make a two horse trail out of lava.
Here's my suggestion, if we hang loose until 1959, Hawaii will become a state. Then the Mainland Haoles (White Guys) will come in with Federal Highway Funds and build us a two lane highway. Until that time, we can surf, drink umbrella drinks and work on our tans.
Wadya say?" 

And that's the rest of the story.
Good day!
Jeff (Paul Harvey) Sambur

PS the trail is still good enough for one goose.



Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Four Hours and a 200 Mile Round Trip...


drive to visit the origins of my cough in Volcano National Park. I know-Stoopid! 
I had a game plan of hiking a long loop, but the recent eruptions vaporized that idea. Volcanos are so inconvenient. 
So I hiked through a crater resembling the end product of a drugged out asphalt paving crew. It's not the most scenic National Park, although the nearby rain forest is pretty neat. 

Damn those Portuguese for introducing the Faya tree so they could make wine. What's the matter? Manischewitz or Morgan David wine isn't good enough?

If a tree can grow in Brooklyn, I guess it can make a living at the bottom of a stark crater. Mother Nature hates a void.

Some visitors donned helmets because they were worried about another cataclysmic explosion. Now that's being paranoid. 

The journey there was so stoopid, I'll do it again. There's a few more craters to see. Who knows, maybe I'll be on hand to see the Goddess Pele really perform. 
Someone should tell the EPA about this park. I know all this noxious venting is in violation of the Clean Air Act of 1970. The NPS needs to be held accountable. 

Have a volcano free day,
Jeff



Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Sightings of the Loch Ness Monster are...


commonplace compared to seeing me geared up for playtime in the ocean.

This event is extremely rare. Haley's Comet rare. 
First off, I don't swim. I dog paddle or side stroke at best. I'm not a fan of putting my head where air can't enter my ample nose or mouth. 

Second, I'm afraid of water. People drown in it. There's living things in it who would love to make a kosher appetizer of me. You should have seen me get onshore when I spotted a moray eel today. I swam real fast!

Third, I do get seasick. No further explanation needed. I'll spare you the details. 

But today, it was fun. I saw the mentioned eel, a sea turtle, a clown fish, flocks of parrot fish, thousands of yellow tangs (very pretty) and one blow fish. 
I was hoping to whale watch but there were none around. 

I have the gear rented for a week. By that time, I'll be like Mike Nelson of "Sea Hunt" fame. You will be showing your age if you can remember Lloyd Bridges in the starring role.

Maybe I'll get serious and rent a harpoon!
PS. I didn't see Nessie either
Jeff