Routine Covid Survival...

“Woke up, fell out of bed

Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And looking up I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Made my way upstairs and had a smoke
And everybody spoke and I went into a dream.” 

In “A Day in the Life.” John Lennon and Paul McCartney poetically describe the start of a UK workday. There’s a routine to it. A sameness. 

. 

Currently La Plata County is in a Level Red - Severe Risk of Covid status. We’re in semi-lockdown. No one is pleased about this.

So I’m hunkering down (again) and seeking soothing sameness. Considering the circumstances, I’ll refrain from calling it “a rut.” Here’s my routine:

Wake up between 5-5:30ish am. Stumble down the stairs (without hurting myself) to flip “on” the coffee pot. (Six cups precisely). Cradle coffee cup in the crook of my left arm, while staring at my I-Pad in order to absorb The NY Times Morning Brief. Next I’ll read emails, Google this or that, dial in Weather.com to see if it’ll be warm and sunny or cloudy and cold. 

All the while the Anti-SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) light is wedged between the La-Z-Boy and my right thigh. This simple fix, fools my senior brain into believing there’s more than 9 hours and change of daylight in this 0-Dark-Thirty time of the year. It’s not a placebo. It really helps.

By first light, I’m sort of conscious, oriented and alert. I’ll start exercising (push-ups, hefting  weights around and balancing on a Fit Ball) while on the outside deck my company begins to arrive. That’s the chickadees, sparrows, grosbeaks, woodpeckers, doves, jays and other feathered freeloaders who flicker about my feeders. They are welcome guests. I unleash my first smile of the day. 

That task done, I’ll make my bed (only to have to undo it 15 hours later) tidy up the place for visitors who don’t visit and guests who are only here in spirit. 

Then time for breakfast! That doesn’t take long.

More putzing around until it’s warm enough to venture outside. Thus starts the best part of my day! I’m off for a 5-10 mile stroll/hike in hopefully Covid-free fresh air. 

Then back to solitary confinement. Eat an unexciting late lunch. Head upstairs to read by the last whiffs of daylight. Shower and shave. (Good hygiene matters even in pandemic times). Back downstairs to pop one of two Happy Hour IPAs. Not three IPAs or one IPA,  but two. 

At approximately 6ish, grab the TV remote to surf 125 channels for mindless entertainment. I’m partial to Ironman, Men in Black, Charlie’s Angels and “Bond, James Bond” genre movies. No deep thinking required. Perfect! 

By 7ish, I figure I better eat something, even though I’m not hungry. I’ll reheat a portion of leftovers from a BIGLY batch of one pot cuisine. Let it be known eating alone all the time sucks.

https://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2020/11/comfort-through-chaos-through.html

Around 9, the meaningless movie is over, the dishes are washed and the recycling bin contains two more aluminum cans. It’s time to brush my molars and retreat to bed with a good read. 

By now you might be thinking, “Jeff sure spends a lot of time in a La-Z Boy or lying supine.” You’re correct. You might say “I am one with my La-Z Boy.” Which is why I’m cognizant of my daily caloric intake. I’m motivated to maintain my girlish figure through this Covid Crisis. I want to still be able to fit on a barstool or in a movie seat. 

I know my routine isn’t exciting or overstimulating. Covid is reeking havoc for a “vacation planner” like myself. (It’s on my retirement card, so it must be true.) Yet! There’s a light show at the end of this “Groundhog Day” movie experience. 

“What’s that Blogger?” 

A) In less than a month, the days will start to grow longer. Here’s a personal equation. More Daylight = Happier Jeffy

B) On 1/20/2021, there will be a Presidential Inauguration. America will return to Grown Up Government. 

C) A tad later, with major assistance from my nice neighbors, Sanctuary Too (my camper) will be placed back upon the Tundra. Two days later, I’ll be in Death Valley National Park for 4-6 weeks. 

D) April will find me camping in Canyonlands National Park. I scored  two weeks of campsites. 

E) With each and every sunup and sundown, we’re (hopefully) closer to a proven and effective   vaccine. No more lockdowns. No more stay at home routines. Freedom to Happy Hour, hug, eat in a restaurant, hang out in coffee house, volunteer safely, walk next to other humans, go to movies, concerts, the library, brew festivals and shop without fear or a mask. I’m so jazzed I already purchased my Fiesta  hat.

Stay safe, sane and healthy no matter what your routine is. Hope to see or meet some of you on the other side of Covid.

Hang in there. I think better days are looming ahead. 

Jeff

Finding a Double IPA in a...

Cooler of Bud Lights. 

I’m never been accused of being a Polly-Anna. It’s not my nature. Maybe it was from my days of growing up in the Bronx and being subjected to Sanitation Workers and Teacher Strikes. (After awhile both began to stink.)  Or maybe it was the time a group of knife wielding Thugs chased me through the streets while shouting, “If we catch you Jew Bastard, we’ll stab you!” Or maybe it was the 28 years of Emergency Service work which is an incubator for “gallows humor.” 

For whatever reason, it’s usually not me who finds the silver lining in situations. 

Let’s be honest, we are living in times in which rose-colored glasses are fogging up. Between Covid cases going “Bang! Zoom! To the Moon” (Ralph Kramden) and an upcoming Constitutional Crisis, the future doesn’t seem  “so bright, I gotta wear shades.” (Timbuk 3). 

Why I’ll bet it’s a challenging time for the most hard core “it’ll all turn out OK” optimists. Let alone me! 

However as I hike Durango’s surrounding trails, take slow sips of an IPA or gaze at technicolor  sunrises, I realized I’ve come a long way. I have heaps to be Thankful for. 

It wasn’t all that long ago, that I was homeless by choice for 6.5 years in Barley the Van down by the River. Ordinary things that others take for granted are still BIGLY to me. Like occupying a real address instead of 66 square feet of a mobile “home.” 

https://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2019/08/in-america-if-you-dont-have-address.html

“Jeffie, can you expound on this?” Sure, I’m not that BUSY! 

A) In August 2019, I rented a fully furnished townhome. The decor was a Southwest Bordello motif. On the walls were framed pictures from the Motel 6 school of art. It’s been a steady work in progress, but now the minimalistic decor subtly proclaims, “Jeff, lives here.” I’m happy with the results.

B) I went from no indoor plumbing to three bathrooms and a laundry, complete with hot and cold running water. This is miraculous to me.

C) I no longer cook outside on a propane Coleman stove.  Now I create meals on a four burner gas stove with a convection oven. I have yards of granite counter tops for food preparation. The days of eating Campbell soups for dinner are now part of my history. 

https://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2020/11/comfort-through-chaos-through.html

D) My evening entertainment used to be reading by a Luci solar powered light. Now I own a 55 inch Samsung TV with 125 channel surfing options. I’m in sensory overload.

E) Mostly I’m thankful for finally settling down in Durango, CO. An area where the surrounding natural beauty is only surpassed by the generosity and kindness of my neighbors and acquaintances. It’s taken me nearly 65 years, but I’ve finally found “Home,” 

https://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2020/10/in-fort-collins-i-had-sociopaths.html

It’ll be a solo Thanksgiving. I’ll be baking up an 18 pound Gobbler and a slew of broasted veggies. There will be plenty of extras which I’m willing to share in a socially distanced way. 

Happy Thanksgiving despite the chaos. If I can a find that double IPA through all this, anyone can.

Stay safe, sane and healthy. Keep those masks on tight. The next few months will be a wild ride.

Jeff

Last photo. I found that Double IPA 

An Open Letter to President Democracy...

Denier. 

Sorry to interrupt your Tweet. 

I’m well aware you have the attention span of a chihuahua mainlining espresso laced Red Bull. I’ll try to keep this post brief. So here goes. Are you still with me? 

With all due respect (which I have none for you) it’s over. You lost. You are a loser! However this isn’t the first or last time you’ve been sitting in the caboose of a failing endeavor.

Here’s some examples of your former ineptitudes: 

Trump Shuttle Inc. Crashed and burned with creditors aboard in 1992. 

Trump Vodka. Fell off the barstool in 2011. BTW. You don’t  drink! So to paraphrase Earl Butz. “He no play-a game. He no make-a “vodka.” 

US Football League. Fumbled in the Red Zone in 1985 to the tune of 163 million in losses. However, you did win a $3 lawsuit against the NFL. Now THAT’S the Art of the Deal! 

Trump University. Grade F- in 2010. This wasn’t  an accredited college or university. The conservative minded “National Review” deemed it a “massive scam.” Wow! Don you might want to remove that diploma from the Oval Office. BTW. Trump Inc. shelled out $25 million in lawsuit settlements for taking advantage of other wannabe scammers. 

The Trump Foundation. President Dude! You stole money earmarked to charities for your own business  and political interests! That’s low even for you. But you had help on this one. Your evil spawn. AKA Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest assisted too. 

Recently you’ve been slaughtered in your feeble attempts to reverse the election results in the courts. Donnie, I’m no lawyer nor do I play one on Facebook, but I do know this. Judges insist on seeing something called “evidence.”  Without it, there’s no case. You are wasting money that could go to organizations like...say Trump Foundation!  Oh never mind. (See above) 

So DJT... This isn’t your first rodeo of losing. No worries. Its cool. Being second or last might create a sense of humility in your selfish soul. (Which you could use in “Big Mac” sized portions. Just sayin!) 

By the numbers: As of this post, President-elect Biden has 290 electoral votes. You have 232. As far as the popular vote goes. Biden curried 51% with 78.89 million affirmatives. You garnered 47.3% with 73.2 million wanting you around for another four years. A 5.69 million vote difference. The approximate population of the entire state of Colorado. Unlike in 2016, those excess votes were in many swing states. IE: MI, WI, PA, NV and even the land of Barry Goldwater turned Blue. AZ that is. This Election wasn’t “rigged” or “stolen.” This is how Democracy works. 

To simplify it further. 73.2 million trusted you. Your words carried weight, despite over four years  of leaving  a Twitter trail of tall tales. 

 On the other side of the aisle 78.89 distrusted you. I’m sure most were weary of being demonized and scapegoated. The country had been divided prior to 2016. Since you’ve been in office the gap went from a hairline fracture to a full on femur through the thigh compound fracture. Complete with blood, gore and the chance of shock. There was no  “We the People” or “My Fellow Americans.”  It was gangland  Us vs. Them. The talk and Tweets were demeaning, unnecessary and cruel. 

Then there’s that mindless pathogen causing all all kinds of grief and uncertainty. To put it bluntly, your Administration’s response has been almost criminal in nature. From the first confirmed case in January 2020, you fibbed and downplayed the enormity of this minuscule virus. On January 22nd, “We have it totally in control...It’s going to be just fine.” The US now leads the World in total cases and total deaths. America makes up just 4% of the World’s population. This is a disgrace. 

 I’ll let you in on a not so secret secret. People are stressed. We don’t need or want a Constitutional Crisis. 

Here’s a history lesson. Since the days of George Washington (he was the first President in 1789) there’s been a peaceful and orderly transfer of power. It’s all been pretty civil. No mobs were taking to the streets. No one was preaching discord or throwing out words like rigged or stolen. The concession speeches were about unity for all Americans. 

So...President Trump, be a mensch. Do the right thing. Pass the baton to the President-elect so we can all move forward. Think of it this way. This could be the start of the New You. Who knows? Maybe I’ll even start to like you.

Sincerely,

Jeff