Finding a Double IPA in a...

Cooler of Bud Lights. 

I’m never been accused of being a Polly-Anna. It’s not my nature. Maybe it was from my days of growing up in the Bronx and being subjected to Sanitation Workers and Teacher Strikes. (After awhile both began to stink.)  Or maybe it was the time a group of knife wielding Thugs chased me through the streets while shouting, “If we catch you Jew Bastard, we’ll stab you!” Or maybe it was the 28 years of Emergency Service work which is an incubator for “gallows humor.” 

For whatever reason, it’s usually not me who finds the silver lining in situations. 

Let’s be honest, we are living in times in which rose-colored glasses are fogging up. Between Covid cases going “Bang! Zoom! To the Moon” (Ralph Kramden) and an upcoming Constitutional Crisis, the future doesn’t seem  “so bright, I gotta wear shades.” (Timbuk 3). 

Why I’ll bet it’s a challenging time for the most hard core “it’ll all turn out OK” optimists. Let alone me! 

However as I hike Durango’s surrounding trails, take slow sips of an IPA or gaze at technicolor  sunrises, I realized I’ve come a long way. I have heaps to be Thankful for. 

It wasn’t all that long ago, that I was homeless by choice for 6.5 years in Barley the Van down by the River. Ordinary things that others take for granted are still BIGLY to me. Like occupying a real address instead of 66 square feet of a mobile “home.” 

https://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2019/08/in-america-if-you-dont-have-address.html

“Jeffie, can you expound on this?” Sure, I’m not that BUSY! 

A) In August 2019, I rented a fully furnished townhome. The decor was a Southwest Bordello motif. On the walls were framed pictures from the Motel 6 school of art. It’s been a steady work in progress, but now the minimalistic decor subtly proclaims, “Jeff, lives here.” I’m happy with the results.

B) I went from no indoor plumbing to three bathrooms and a laundry, complete with hot and cold running water. This is miraculous to me.

C) I no longer cook outside on a propane Coleman stove.  Now I create meals on a four burner gas stove with a convection oven. I have yards of granite counter tops for food preparation. The days of eating Campbell soups for dinner are now part of my history. 

https://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2020/11/comfort-through-chaos-through.html

D) My evening entertainment used to be reading by a Luci solar powered light. Now I own a 55 inch Samsung TV with 125 channel surfing options. I’m in sensory overload.

E) Mostly I’m thankful for finally settling down in Durango, CO. An area where the surrounding natural beauty is only surpassed by the generosity and kindness of my neighbors and acquaintances. It’s taken me nearly 65 years, but I’ve finally found “Home,” 

https://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2020/10/in-fort-collins-i-had-sociopaths.html

It’ll be a solo Thanksgiving. I’ll be baking up an 18 pound Gobbler and a slew of broasted veggies. There will be plenty of extras which I’m willing to share in a socially distanced way. 

Happy Thanksgiving despite the chaos. If I can a find that double IPA through all this, anyone can.

Stay safe, sane and healthy. Keep those masks on tight. The next few months will be a wild ride.

Jeff

Last photo. I found that Double IPA 

An Open Letter to President Democracy...

Denier. 

Sorry to interrupt your Tweet. 

I’m well aware you have the attention span of a chihuahua mainlining espresso laced Red Bull. I’ll try to keep this post brief. So here goes. Are you still with me? 

With all due respect (which I have none for you) it’s over. You lost. You are a loser! However this isn’t the first or last time you’ve been sitting in the caboose of a failing endeavor.

Here’s some examples of your former ineptitudes: 

Trump Shuttle Inc. Crashed and burned with creditors aboard in 1992. 

Trump Vodka. Fell off the barstool in 2011. BTW. You don’t  drink! So to paraphrase Earl Butz. “He no play-a game. He no make-a “vodka.” 

US Football League. Fumbled in the Red Zone in 1985 to the tune of 163 million in losses. However, you did win a $3 lawsuit against the NFL. Now THAT’S the Art of the Deal! 

Trump University. Grade F- in 2010. This wasn’t  an accredited college or university. The conservative minded “National Review” deemed it a “massive scam.” Wow! Don you might want to remove that diploma from the Oval Office. BTW. Trump Inc. shelled out $25 million in lawsuit settlements for taking advantage of other wannabe scammers. 

The Trump Foundation. President Dude! You stole money earmarked to charities for your own business  and political interests! That’s low even for you. But you had help on this one. Your evil spawn. AKA Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest assisted too. 

Recently you’ve been slaughtered in your feeble attempts to reverse the election results in the courts. Donnie, I’m no lawyer nor do I play one on Facebook, but I do know this. Judges insist on seeing something called “evidence.”  Without it, there’s no case. You are wasting money that could go to organizations like...say Trump Foundation!  Oh never mind. (See above) 

So DJT... This isn’t your first rodeo of losing. No worries. Its cool. Being second or last might create a sense of humility in your selfish soul. (Which you could use in “Big Mac” sized portions. Just sayin!) 

By the numbers: As of this post, President-elect Biden has 290 electoral votes. You have 232. As far as the popular vote goes. Biden curried 51% with 78.89 million affirmatives. You garnered 47.3% with 73.2 million wanting you around for another four years. A 5.69 million vote difference. The approximate population of the entire state of Colorado. Unlike in 2016, those excess votes were in many swing states. IE: MI, WI, PA, NV and even the land of Barry Goldwater turned Blue. AZ that is. This Election wasn’t “rigged” or “stolen.” This is how Democracy works. 

To simplify it further. 73.2 million trusted you. Your words carried weight, despite over four years  of leaving  a Twitter trail of tall tales. 

 On the other side of the aisle 78.89 distrusted you. I’m sure most were weary of being demonized and scapegoated. The country had been divided prior to 2016. Since you’ve been in office the gap went from a hairline fracture to a full on femur through the thigh compound fracture. Complete with blood, gore and the chance of shock. There was no  “We the People” or “My Fellow Americans.”  It was gangland  Us vs. Them. The talk and Tweets were demeaning, unnecessary and cruel. 

Then there’s that mindless pathogen causing all all kinds of grief and uncertainty. To put it bluntly, your Administration’s response has been almost criminal in nature. From the first confirmed case in January 2020, you fibbed and downplayed the enormity of this minuscule virus. On January 22nd, “We have it totally in control...It’s going to be just fine.” The US now leads the World in total cases and total deaths. America makes up just 4% of the World’s population. This is a disgrace. 

 I’ll let you in on a not so secret secret. People are stressed. We don’t need or want a Constitutional Crisis. 

Here’s a history lesson. Since the days of George Washington (he was the first President in 1789) there’s been a peaceful and orderly transfer of power. It’s all been pretty civil. No mobs were taking to the streets. No one was preaching discord or throwing out words like rigged or stolen. The concession speeches were about unity for all Americans. 

So...President Trump, be a mensch. Do the right thing. Pass the baton to the President-elect so we can all move forward. Think of it this way. This could be the start of the New You. Who knows? Maybe I’ll even start to like you.

Sincerely,

Jeff

Don't forget to thank a Vet today...

 and everyday.

I bought Paul breakfast for his service to our country.

Thanks Paul!

Instant Karma (of the Good Kind)

         

 

     They are found everywhere in America, from metropolises to tiny burgs and all the places in-between.

     I’ve collectively nicknamed these bands of men the “early a.m. coffee klatches.” They can be found in our nation’s cafés, diners, McDonald’s, and gas stations. One can discover them wherever a cup of Joe is being poured. The one stipulation for making these sightings is to be a 0-dawn-thirty riser like me. With my early bird schedule, I am always on a collision course with these good natured, good ol’ boys.

     Their caffeinated banter is centered on harmless jibes, local news and gossip, sports and bumper-sticker sized solutions to the problems or our nation and the world. I think of it as a live version of the “Today” show minus Rockefeller Center and Al Roker.

     While traveling through the Northwest in the vicinity of Mount St. Helens National Monument, I was on a layover in Cougar, Wash. At 6 a.m. most of the lights in town were off (there weren’t many to begin with) except at the gas station. I pulled my camper van into the parking lot hoping for at least a cup of java and at best a breakfast. I was fortunate to score both and an animated coffee klatch to boot.

     After placing my breakfast order at the kitchen, I took a solo seat near the gaggle. As is my usual custom, I brought in a load of maps and hiking guides to help me figure out the day’s game plan. When my maps were spread all over the table, the local gent’s natural curiosity was piqued. A few came by to dispense advice on places to see and things to do. Most of the information was geared more toward ATV or equine travel than hiking, but I shook my head and smiled just the same. After a while they returned to their seats and their usual routine.

     I went back to looking at my maps, eating and eavesdropping on their conversations.

     From what I gathered they were a group of Army veterans spanning the years between the Korean conflict and the Vietnam War. One or two of the more vocal ones told war stories as if they were in a fox hole with bullets flying yesterday.

     I finished my breakfast, collected my maps and made my way to the cash register. I stopped in front of their table and interrupted them for a moment.

     “Thank you for your help on the local scene.” I allowed that to sink in before I added, “And thank you for your service to our country.”

     With that I walked away.

     A hush fell over the crowd before one of them piped up, “Wow! It would be nice to hear that more often.”

     So in conclusion, thank a Vet. It won’t cost you a thin dime, and the payoff might be priceless.

     Think of it as performing a random act of kindness in an often time not so kind world. It’s a win/win situation for all.