Sunday, May 6, 2018

A Road Trip Like...

no other.

That’s a good thing. 

I’m now in the waning days of a three month-plus on the road again trip. I’ll say it now. This tour has been the most challenging in the six years I’ve been Homeless by Choice.

It all began on February 12th after a six month hiatus from sleeping in a movable object. I had great expectations and high hopes for another worthwhile Barley the Van  roll through the Southwest. It was not to be. It’s was a stuttering, puttering and plodding quarter of a year. 

Why is that? Jeffy? 

Most of the reasons had been weather related. 

I spent a month in Death Valley National Park. Normally, average temperatures are pegging the orgasmic range. ( 74-82 degrees.) I was scoring low 60’s with a wind from Santa Claus’ address. On one hot (for a change) windy day, two date palm trees at Furnace Creek Resort were whipped down. It takes a lot of push to make an old palm tree go horizontal. 

All in all, wind was a constant unwanted companion. I’d say a typical week yielded three days of 25 mph plus breezes. Oftentimes my sleep was interrupted. I wish I could report it was the “When this Van is rockin‘ don’t come knockin’” type of motion. But it wasn’t. It was the damn wind.

You can now find my name in the Guinness Book of Records for the highest CPM of the wind. (Curses per Minute). 

This caused my route selection to be determined by the Weather Channel app. 

Instead of heading to the wild lands I wanted to revisit IE: Escalante region or the Cedar Mesa Areas Of Utah. (Too icy or too wet). I sojourned to warmer places such as Palm Springs, CA. ( probably not the best choice for a straight male looking for a girlfriend ) and Borrego Springs, CA ( a pleasant surprise. ) 

I was in reaction mode of travel instead of an action mode. 

Towards the end of this trip, I surrendered when the forecast turned malicious. I said “Screw it!” and headed to beer and 420 friendlier Colorado. The thought of spending another night in Blanding, UT (yawn) would have had me reaching for Prozac. I couldn’t do it. 

Don’t misunderstand me, it wasn’t all painful. I caught a weather break in Zion and Canyonlands, Those National Parks proved to be the Apex of the nasty spring of 2018. There were a few other “Eureka!” moments, but not that many. 

It was a shame Mother Nature didn’t cooperate. I was so hoping for an easy, gentle transit through the Southwest. I wanted to be reminded on why I live this homeless, nomadic and sociable Hermit-like existence. It didn’t happen.

For the first time of Barley the Van travel, I caught the loneliness bug. It was a virus I thought I had immunity to. The malady made me introspective. 

Back in 2013, Robin (the best sister-in-law in the World) asked me if I enjoyed living and traveling in a Van. I quickly answered, “Yes! It feels right!”

On this Southwest sashay, It rarely felt right.

I’m now in Colorado’s Great Sand Dunes National Park. I’ll admit it. It feels right to be in my “Home” State. 

If future road trips are as rough as this one, I’ll buy an immovable address somewhere in the “Centennial State.”

It might be time for a change...


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