Tuesday, February 28, 2017

"There's a lot of hype...

to New Zealand." 

Unsolicited quote from a young Frenchman on the Routeburn Track.

I came to New Zealand with high hopes of extending my almost perfect summer of 2016 into the Southern Hemisphere. 



But as the saying goes, the best laid plans of mice and Wandering Wondering Jews often go awry. How was I to know NZ would be in the throes of the worst summer in decades? The season that went missing was so obviously awful newspaper editorials, residents and TV News programs commented of its overall crappiness. (See photo). It wasn't just me thinking WTF!


My "Welcome to New Zealand" cough and cold didn't help my disposition either. It was one gloomy, gray, wind-crazed and bone numbing day after another. Peaking out of my window in the morning made me want to return to bed and weep. Good thing, I brought 70 Starbucks instant coffees with me. Caffeine forced me to do something. I donned my foul weather gear and went through the motions of an active overseas ramble. To be honest, I wasn't feeling it. I experienced loneliness. A sure sign of a journey gone bad. 

So...I was spending heaps of Greenbacks and not having fun. BTW: Don't travel here thinking this is a bargain basement destination. It's not! For example: On the International Beer Index, a six-pack of decent IPA will set you back US$18.50. A gallon of gas is US$7.00. 

Now back to this blog's catchy "Bring you into the tent" title. 


Tourism is NZ's number one foreign currency money maker. 3.4 million International guests arrived in 2016. For comparison there are 4.7 million Kiwis. 

A virtual cottage industry of guide and shuttle services have sprung up like fresh moss after a rain to deal with the onslaught of selfie-stick wielding foreigners. Worrisome wanderers (not me) will pay up to NZ$100 for a guided three hour hike to a waterfall. Heck! I would provide the same service for half that AND carry their backpacks. 

I met and spoke to many guides. One common trait they all possessed was a Polly-Anna personality coupled with a flair for the understatement. I.E.:
"We shall get a wee bit of rain today!" True meaning: if you hold your head up with your mouth open, you will drown. 
Or
"It might be a wee bit windy on top." True meaning: Watch out that you don't get conked on the noggin by an airborne Volkswagen Beetle. 

In the more sought after destinations such as Milford, Mount Cook and Glacier Country, helicopters drone over the airspace above while sand flies rule the ground below. It's a noisy, not very wilderness-like scene. 

The official NZ Government Tourism Board is the World's oldest. By now they have figured out a way to lure people (and their money) from faraway places to this small Island Nation. It's done with clever marketing. There's a lot of overstatement going on. New Zealand created nine "Great" Walks. I ambled along six of them. On my scale, I'd rate three as pretty good. (Milford, Abel Tasman and Routeburn) Two as so-so (Tongariro and Kepler) and one as incredibly below average. ((Lake Weikaremoana). 


Of these six, I would do Abel Tasman and Milford again.

Apparently, the idea of "Great" like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The other overused descriptor is "Must See!" Every town, camper van park and museum uses this phrase. Oftentimes the "must see" object is pretty mundane and somewhat common in these parts. I.E.: Waterfalls. (A steep landscape with heaps of precipitation equals a lot of waterfalls)

Whoa! Before you think I detested my stay here. Au contraire! I just wish the Tourism industry would tone down the above mentioned hype. New Zealand is a diverse, beautiful and wild land. It's occupied by many kind, honest, polite, proper and gentle people. It's insanely safe (except for the narrow roads and dicey trails). 

Tourists can let their guard down here and get away with it. I liked that feeling a lot. The older I become the more I enjoy a sense of security. New Zealand is an easy (in a GREAT way) destination. It's good value for its comfort, cleanliness and abundance of helpful citizens. 

I'll be back with a game plan to arrive earlier and stay longer. One international guest can't possibly be a witness to two of the most horrendous summers on record! 

BTW. Summer did show its blissfully warm, mellow and happy side in the past ten days. I'll even go on record to say I regained my Mojo! 


Yes, I'll surely be back within the next four years.

Next stop!
Death Valley National Park, California 

I'm still running for President in 2020. The First Lady position is still open too. 


All these photos are from Arthur's Pass NP. The hikes were great.

Cheers!
Jeff

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Friday, February 24, 2017

A Tale of two...

Trails. 


It's all about the weather. This is the dilemma of hiking in Westland National Park. Fox and Franz Josep glaciers are very approachable and accessible for sightseeing. That is if you don't mind the sweat labor involved in getting to a viewpoint. I don't mind as long as I score a BIG Ohh Ahhh scene. I batted .500 for the two. 


At the trailhead for Mount Fox, there's a Warning sign. It reads: “this trail has limited track formation and steep grades. It is suitable for fit, experienced, and properly equipped people.”


The route is a total grunt hand-over-hand full body workout. It's 3,800 feet of up in a scant 2.4 miles. There's mud too, and not the exfoliating your skin kind. This is ankle deep goo capable of sucking your trail runner right off your foot. Like it did to me. OY! 
Ahh! But the views at the top on a Kiwi-speak "Fine" day was worth the gallon of schvitz (Yiddish for perspiring profusely). 


See for yourself. 
Mount Cook is out there somewhere. (Sir Edmund Hillary trained on Mount Cook in preparation for his historic Everest accent). It's  covered in White Death/ice  and way too cold for me. 



Onto Franz Josef for hike numero dos. The Weather Channel was predicting a mix of clouds and sun for my mellower 12 mile RT hike up to Alex Knob point. They lied. I left in a foggy mist and returned in a foggy mist. There were no glacier sightings. There were no scenery sightings unless you count walking through another dense, dreary and gloomy temperate rain forest as scenic. By now, I'm sort of over this particular ecosystem. I'm sure it's a whole lot cheerier to tramp through on sunny days, but I wouldn't know. 


For the record, I've been in Franz Josef town for two days. I've seen a glacier for about fifteen seconds. The other sights are heaps of green covered mounds that are shaped like ice cream scoops. (Maybe glacial moraines?) All that's missing is a few dollops of chocolate sauce to make them look sort of edible. 


Mother Nature works in strange ways. 

Next stop Arthur's Pass National Park and maybe some "fine" weather,
Good night,
Jeff