I mentally prepared myself for...

The worst for my gig as an Ice Lake Trail Educational Ranger. My  assignment would be talking up “Leave No Trace” Conservation Ethics to hordes of hikers. 

FYI. Ice Lake is the most popular and populated trail in the entire San Juan National Forest. 

A few days prior to me “going live” I attended a San Juan Mountain Association volunteer meeting. (I’m a dues paying member of this feel good non-profit organization.) The informercial took place at Happy Hour in the SJMA parking lot. All attendees were masked up and socially distanced. Naturally, I brought a six-pack of IPAs to share with my fellow stewards of the land.  

The cooler was socially distanced too.

I had one taker. Tough crowd. 

Three SJMA staff members gave three distinct point of views on crowd control on our public lands. The one factoid I gleaned was this. Ice Lake was scoring 500-800 visitors/day on a sub-8 mile (round trip), 2400’ elevation gain (one way) trail. That’s a lot of Facebook selfies. Of course the gorilla in the corner was Covid and political divisiveness. I walked away with more questions and concerns than answers. However after 28 years of being in emergency services, I know there are times you have to shrug your shoulders and wing it. 

I arrived around 7:30ish to a nearly full parking lot. In the time it took me to fuss with my backpack and gear, the parking lot was in overflow status. I donned my green SJMA baseball cap and a gray US Forest Service volunteer t-shirt. It wasn’t a uniform that screamed, “You will respect my authority!” (Quote from Cartman of “South Park” fame.)

I headed up the trail. The sky was shockingly blue. The temperature was hovering in the perfect zone.

Armed with my avid imagination, I figured the trail would look like Mile High Stadium after a Broncos overtime win. I noticed a few discarded doggy poop bags and one crumpled can. I’ve seen worse. Most of the hikers I passed had “game on” for Colorado’s fickle mountain weather. (Bulging backpacks with water, food, rain gear and dry, warm clothes.) The early hikers are usually “in the know.” This wasn’t their first rodeo. 

Generally speaking, it’s the late starters, who are ill prepared on what might lie ahead. The give away is their I Phone in hand. I suppose they have an “app” for food, water, shelter and warm, dry clothes. 

My hike up was uneventful. Mostly I was saying a masked “Good Morning!” Every now and then, I’d perform a welfare check on folks. Fortunately, all seemed conscious, oriented and alert. At Ice Lake, (elevation 12,260’) the crowd was subdued. It was as if they had arrived within a Cathedral. (Which in fact they did, just one without walls or religious guilt.) I took my lunch in an out of the way place. Afterwards, I turned downhill. 

The uphill crowd was thicker than hours ago. Many were hiking with their four-legged friends. About 50% had their hound tethered to them. I sincerely thanked them for this curtesy. Other pooches walked in lockstep with their owners. I thanked those dog lovers for training such a well behaved canine. Then their were the troublemakers. The Bowsers who were ranging far and wide from their owners. They were looking for mischief. To these owners, I’d say, “Excuse me. I’m Jeff, I’m a volunteer for the Forest Service and a local mountain loving conservation organization. I believe your dog might be harassing the wildlife.”

Most were cool, and immediately leashed their wandering dogs. One woman asked me so innocently, “There’s wildlife here? What kind?” 

Outstanding! I had an audience.I ascended my invisible podium. “Well, there’s ground squirrels, chipmunks, deer, marmots, lots of birds and my favorite-the American Pika.” (I was working the patriotic angle here.) Next she asked, “What’s an American Pika?” I began to warm up to my roll, “American Pikas are arguably one of the most adorable mammals in our Great Nation. They are the size of your fist, tawny gray in color, with little round ears and no tail. They live above tree line where you are heading. They are hard working vegetarian farmers. True salt of the Earth animals. This is their time to “make hay while the sunshine’s” They’ll feed on their harvest throughout the winter months. If your dog chases them, that’s less time for them do their chores. You wouldn’t want to be responsible for a winter starved mild mannered rodent. Would you?” 

She called her dog and leashed him. “Sorry! I wasn’t aware. I totally understand. Thanks for the explanation.” I was smiling behind my mask. “Score!”

I went back up to Ice Lake the following day. I disassembled a few fire rings (blazes are verboten in the Ice Lake corridor) and picked up some detritus. I did some bonus elevation and miles to nearby Island Lake. I made more contacts with my emphasis on making recommendations to the bevy of backpackers. I kindly asked them to make camp in the lower basin among the trees. I explained it this way. “The above tree line tundra is deceptively fragile. Camping upon it, might cause resource damage. Besides, we’ve been getting afternoon thunderstorms. Your shelter has lightning rod aluminum poles! One more thing to consider, your tent might photo bomb someone’s Facebook selfie.”  That last point got their attention. Many nodded in agreement.

Score II.

All in all, I felt the experience was a positive one for me and hopefully for some visitors. I was thanked more than once for being “out here.”

Alas, in our time of Covid, I’m hesitant to partake in this gig again. Many guests come from the Virus “hot spot“ states of New Mexico, Arizona and Texas. At times the trail is quite narrow with  no place to get aside in an appropriate socially distanced  manner. Masks like mine were the exception instead of the rule. At my age of 65, the cost/risk benefit is too high. 

With Merica’s body count soaring, I’m more than concerned. I don’t want to contract Covid. It would put a major damper on my hiking and Happy Hours. I’ll surely volunteer again in the post-Covid effective vaccine future. (Whenever that may be).

Last photo: If people overcrowding weren’t enough, there’s llama jams on the Ice Lake Trail too.

Stay safe, sort of sane and healthy,

Jeff 

“Jeffy! Would it be OK...

If the kids visiting you for two weeks this summer?”  was the question Robin (my sister-in-law) posed to me in the spring of 2004. 

It didn’t take long for me to answer, “Sure!” 

Before I signed the papers, there were certain conditions which had to be met. “Jeff, promise me you will bring them back alive and you won’t lose them again. (Picky. Picky. Picky. I only misplaced them once!) “OK” I lamely answered, “I promise.” Robin had one more condition, “The kids are sort of chubby. Can you work them enough so they shed a few pounds?” It didn’t take me long to answer, “That!  I can do!”

My nephews Keith and Justin arrived in Colorado from NYC around mid-summer. After picking them up at Denver’s airport, I laid out the game plan. “Guys! We’re going to do a two week lap of the best parts of Colorado. We’ll either be backpacking or day hiking. There will be no days off. We will have fun. Am I crystal clear on this?” 

The Boys knew the drill from their previous trips to Colorado. Get up early, backpack or day hike, move to another venue, eat, drink, sleep, repeat. All was going well. It was the the usual, me verbally abusing the kids and they tag teaming back at UJ. (Uncle Jeff). Most of the time, I’d cut them off with, “Next! On Oprah. Mean Uncles!” 

The one incident I remember was in the Uncompahgre Wilderness. We were sporting full backpacks for a three night trip. The summer monsoons of thunder, lightning and rain Oh My! was our weather pattern. I was on top of an above the tree line pass looking down at two specs of humans way below me. The clouds above were coalescing into something scary and nasty. I had to motivate the youngsters. “Boys! Would you rather be shopping? I’m sure we can find a nice mall nearby. It’ll be easier on you than backpacking.” Their answer was an emphatic duet of “ F—k You! Uncle Jeff!” I laughed but my lines did the trick. They hustled up and we retreated to less exposed areas. 

All memorable journeys must come to an end. After finishing the Maroon Bells-Snowmass Wilderness Four Pass Loop. 

https://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2018/08/the-future-aint-what.html

We headed into Aspen right in time for brunch. I ordered a breakfast burrito and coffee. The Boys asked for burgers and fries. Keith spoke out, “UJ? Would it be OK if me and Justin have a beer?” (It was 11ish am). “Sure! Why not? You guys deserve it. I know you worked hard these past two weeks. You both did great.” 

When the beers arrived, they toasted each other. What did my nephews say when they clinked bottles? “We survived Uncle Jeff! We survived Uncle Jeff!”

The next day I dropped them off at Denver’s airport. 

About half a dozen hours later (I missed those kids already) my phone rang. It was Robin. “Jeff!” Oh oh, I’m in trouble now was my first thought. “Yes?” Robin practically shouted, “The Kids look great! They each lost ten pounds. They look so healthy. They had a great time too. Thanks so much!” My answer was short and sincere, “My pleasure.”

Sixteen years later, those Boys are now Men. They followed the American Dream by getting married, having kids and buying a home. In other words, they did everything I never did. Keith and Justin grew up! 

A few days ago, the stars and planets aligned. Their wives and parents (Brother Mike and Robin) granted them a few hours off to hike with their Uncle Jeff. By 7:30 am we headed up above tree line. Keith hung with me stride for stride. (Am I getting older and slower or is Keith getting fitter and faster?). Justin wore a satisfying smirk as he brought up the rear. Neither had any complaints as we gazed at 100 mile views, puffy clouds and stunning wildflowers. Six miles in we took a lunch stop near a babbling waterfall. We reminisced about our past trips together. “Remember the time...” We got back to my truck just as the clouds began to yield rain. It was perfect timing to complete a perfect day.

Now you might wonder, “Where do Keith and Justin live?” My nephews reside on the Front Range of Colorado.

 Coincidence? I think not. They saw the light years ago.

Thanks Brother Mike and Robin for giving me the best nephews in the world.

Stay safe, sane and healthy out there,

UJ

This wasn’t my first wrestling match...

vs. the Grim Reaper.

Nine years ago, I was slammed by a sedan while riding my bicycle. Three Docs gently told me, I should have been killed.I continued to be alive and got my active life back. 

I showed them! 

Now I think back upon all the other previous times, I’ve come close to entering Death’s Door.

Here’s a few graphic examples: 

Around 1976, I was working my first Forest Fire. At sunset a crew of Smokejumpers dropped in on us. At 0-dark thirty I was digging line next to an expert firefighter. A silently burning snag timbered between the two of us. Maybe three feet away.  In a moment another Smokejumper ran over to check on his compadre. After ascertaining he was OK. My neighbor Smokejumper said, “That’s the way, Murphy bought it a few years ago!” Holy Shit! I didn’t know people could die digging fire line! Who knew?

In the 80’s, I scored a career on the Fort Collins fire department. A two story house was in flames. The seat of the fire was on the first floor. My crew was assigned to drag a third hose line to the second floor and check for extension. There was zilch visibility due to the smoke. We moved by feel. The firefighter behind me roughly tapped me on the shoulder. He leaned his helmet into mine. “Hear that? The truck company is opening up the roof. Let’s wait so we can see better after they vent the place.” I stopped. When the smoke cleared. I was a mere 12 inches away from taking the Express Train from the second floor to the still burning first floor. The fire had burned a hole in the ceiling. 

It was 1992, I was returning from a 70 plus mile attitude adjustment bicycle ride. I was just two miles away from a much needed meal when a classic 1960’s Ford Mustang turned left in front of me. I went from 20 mph to zero. I didn’t even have time to hit my breaks. My helmeted head smashed a side panel causing a four inch dent in real steel. I was bruised but not broken or dead. That $50 helmet saved me.

In November of 2001, I journeyed to Utah’s canyon country in search of solitude in an attempt to make sense of the senseless murders of the 9/11 terrorist attack. I was returning to Fort Collins without answers, but carrying less stress. On the eastbound descent off Eisenhower Tunnel  I hit a patch of black ice. My Ford Explorer slid perpendicular across three lanes of traffic. An 80,000 pound semi-truck took evasive actions and missed me by a long stride. An impact I would have never woken up from. I wish I could have thanked that Mario Andretti of truck drivers.

My life was then pretty tame until the above mentioned wallop by the sedan in 2011.

But! The close calls didn’t end on US Highway 2 in Montana. 

In 2016, I was checking out a petroglyph on a cliffy edge in appropriately named Death Valley National Park. The slab of rock I was balanced upon tilted downhill with me still attached. I was going over backwards. My first thought was, “So this is how it ends...”  Miraculously, my foot snagged an exposed tree root before I began to really plummet. The incident screwed up my knee, but I still had a pulse. 

Presently we are all facing a new Merchant of Death. Covid-19 strikes without the screeching of breaks, or the soft thud of flesh impacting medal and nothing is burning except the feverish victims. Something as innocent as dabbing your eyes prior to hand washing can cause a cascading affect of sickness/possibly death.  As in all things Merican, our response has been individualistic coexisting with a “believe what you wanna believe” mentality. There’s reasons our infection rates are spiking and Europe has shut its borders to US citizens. Face it. We’ll be dealing with Covid for more than awhile. The virus doesn’t care If our Administration wants to wish it away with a “Move along! There’s nothing to see here” attitude. Our lives will be imperiled until an effective vaccine is discovered. 

For me, it seems like it’s always something when it comes to dodging the Great Inevitable. 

As usual, I urge you to stay safe, sane and healthy. 

Best wishes to my readers for making it to the other side of Covid.

Lastly Bicycle Helmets save lives (or else you wouldn’t be reading this.)

Cheers,

Jeff