I'm Popeye the Sailor Man...

Ahoy Matey! 

With all the Humpback action going on off shore, I had to go in for a closer gander.

So with the aid of two Dramamine, I ventured into the Heart of the Ocean. Well, not exactly but it sounds more exciting that way. 

OK. I'll say it, the experience was almost, ALMOST as good as sex. Although, I've never medicated myself with Dramamine before performing the deed. 

For the cetaceans, it is all about mating. The males are sparring one another constantly. I suppose the ultimate winner gets the blubbery babe. Most of the heavy thumping occurs below the surface. When one Ultimate Full Contact fracas surfaced, we saw one stud-wannabe with fresh blood oozing from his tail. (No, I didn't dog paddle in and try to break the combatants apart). 

At one point, a crew member inserted a sonar device into the saltwater so we could hear the gangs taunts and threats.
Here are some of the snippets we picked up.

Male Whale One: "Dude! Your Mom wears Scuba Flippers!"

Male Whale Two: "Oh yeah! I saw your Mom make it with a guppy! She liked it too!"

You get the drift. Kind of like a late night bar scene without the beer flowing. 

I've attached the best shots. Enjoy them and light up a cigarette after.

Once again, I am so glad they escaped extinction.

Read all about it. 

http://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2015/01/humpback-whales.html

PS. Just like Popeye, I do eat my spinach. 

No Olive Oyl sightings in Lahaina.

Good Night Mainland.

After two days of coughing like...

a West Virginian coal miner, I said screw this curtailment of activities. If I'm going to hack up a few capillaries, I might as well be engaged in doing something I enjoy doing like shopping-NOT. 

So I headed for the hills. Somehow I stumbled upon the Mahana Trail which is near the posh, hoity-toity hotels. In fact, the resorts maintain the trail. This morning, I saw a maintenance worker vacuuming the dirt surface. It was the best maintained trail I've been on in Hawaii. The hotels even provide shuttle service to the top so gravity does the work for their guests. For an extra few bucks, they can hire a Sherpa. 

Since I wasn't part of the "In Crowd" I ascended and descended the baker's dozen worth of miles. I didn't mind, it was beautiful, cool and quiet. The good news is I feel better than I've felt in the nine days since learning of VOG. 

http://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2015/01/caught-up-in-vog-of.html

When I picked up an inhaler for my lungs, the friendly pharmacist said, "that's volcanic air pollution. It even has gaseous metals in it." 

No wonder I could hear "Clank!" when I stopped suddenly. 

With a nose like mine, I take in and expel a lot of air. Probably the same volume of what inflates the Goodyear Blimp. Yep! That's a lot of hot air coming and going from a little guy like me. I require clean air to run smoothly and efficiently. Don't we all?

Stay healthy and keep moving,

Jeff

PS. That's a Norfolk Island Pine I'm embracing. This specimen got a lot bigger than the ones I used to grow in flower pots. 

Be the 10,000th Pageview of...

"A Wandering, Wondering Jew" and you can be a winner!

Soon my blog will hit a milestone. I have no idea what a Pageview means, but 10,000 of anything is nothing to cough at. (Which I'm still doing). 

So...here's the rules of the contest. At the bottom of a post, (scroll all the way down past the Top Ten posts) you'll notice big, black and bold numbers. That's the Pageview counter. Whatever those are. When you see it turn 10,000 contact me at jeffsambur@gmail.com to claim your prize.

And what's the prize? Why Happy Hour and dinner with me of course. 

This will be my 4th handout of goodies. For a website that hasn't even scored me one, "Hey Jeff! I love your blog, lemme buy you an IPA." this doesn't make smart business sense. Somehow, I doubt if Zuckerberg had a Facebook contest like mine. 

But what the heck, it's a slow news day here in balmy Lahaina. (Which happens to have a lot of shopping.) and I'm curious about how this will turn out.

Here's the posts from the previous contests.

http://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2014/12/you-must-enter-to-win-the.html

http://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2014/12/and-winners-of-the_20.html

No cheating! Remember what our parents said, "Honesty is the best policy." 

A wise man once told me, "when you speak the truth, your story never has to change." 

True!

Thanks for coming along BTW.

Jeff

Charles A Lindbergh

is famous for being a daring pilot, an author, an explorer, a conservationist, a political activist, a Nazi sympathizer, a Mamma's Boy and an Anti-Semite.

Whew! What a resume. 

He was also a womanizer who favored Nordic mistresses. He fathered seven children out of wedlock. Maybe that's where he scored the nickname "Lucky Lindy."

Mr Lindbergh was a most controversial public figure. A "pause button" before his many rants and raves might have kept him from becoming a Fallen Hero, (like Lance Armstrong). 

In his diaries, he wrote: "We must limit to a reasonable amount the Jewish influence ... Whenever the Jewish percentage of total population becomes too high, a reaction seems to invariably occur. It is too bad because a few Jews of the right type are, I believe, an asset to any country."

I'm not famous, so I can write outrageous posts without worrying about falling from Grace. I'll have to change my ways if I ever reach stardom. 

His Final Resting Place is in the graveyard of a humble church in Kapahula, Maui. 

Speaking of VOG, I'm now using an inhaler prescribed by the best GP in the World.

Thanks Lonny! 

I'll pay him for his medical help with a 6 pack of IPA when I see him in Boulder.

Lucky for me, he's OK with the barter system.

http://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2015/01/caught-up-in-vog-of.html

Stay VOG free out there,

Jeff

"I Survived the Road to...

Hana" T-shirts can be found in over abundance in Maui . (Did I mention there's  heaps of T-shirt shops and skin care product stores here?) 

The route is snake-like twisty with aggressive local drivers bombing down the skinny oncoming lane. I think the game of "Chicken" is an unofficial sport there. Like the Hawaiian hiking trails, there's no daydreaming allowed while negotiating the distance. 

When you can quickly glance around from the task at hand (surviving the drive), there's lush bamboo forests, ocean views and waterfalls. For me, it was a one and done experience. Hana as the destination after such an ordeal is kind of underwhelming. It's a quiet secluded spot lacking in a lot of amenities for a place so famous. There's no sports bar! 

I got a lot of reading in that one evening that felt like a week there. 

I'm back in Lahaina dealing with a persistent dry cough and I don't even smoke. 

Mahalo! 

Jeff

You Meet the Nicest People III

At Bubba Gump's in Lahaina. 

How often do you befriend someone whom you sold a house to?

That's what happened to me with Scott and Melody Hayden in 2009.

I marketed my Old Town, Fort Collins abode by sticking a $2.99 "For Sale" sign in the front yard. A few days later, I got a call from Scott.

I gave him the quick nickel tour. It's a small house. He seemed to like it. 

He asked a few obvious question. I gave him truthful answers.

"I'm a friendly guy (he is). How's your neighbors?"

"Well, Scott. They suck. They both lack social skills and are assholes. That being said, at least they are quiet losers." 

He kind of gasped at my brutal honesty, but I think he knew he was dealing with a straight shooter. 

We signed the papers and we've been buddies ever since. He's a good doctor too, and makes a difference in people's lives. 

I don't think all home sales end like this.

Melody was on the Mainland while Dr. Hayden was on a temporary assignment in Maui.

From the photo of the big fans, I finally figured out the origins of Hawaii's Trade Winds. 

Mañana, I'm on the road to Hana.

Mahalo!

Jeff

Thar She Blows...

Over the years you have been hunted

by the men who threw harpoons

And in the long run he will kill you

just to feed the pets we raise,

put the flowers in your vase

and make the lipstick for your face.

Over the years you swam the ocean

Following feelings of your own

Now you are washed up on the shoreline

I can see your body lie

It's a shame you have to die

to put the shadow on our eye

Maybe we'll go

Maybe we'll disappear

It's not that we don't know

It's just that we don't want to care.

Under the bridges

Over the foam

Wind on the water

Carry me home.

"Wind on the Water" lyrics by David Crosby and Graham Nash

Today, after a stroll up a ridge line (photos included), I walked a few bonus miles past the swank beach resorts on West Maui. Off shore, Humpback Whales were breaching and blowing. (The Humpback photo is a Google shot). On shore, people were standing mesmerized while taking in the aerial acrobatics of these Gentle Giants.

Every spectator displayed an enormous grin/smile. 

To think, the human race came so close to hunting the Humpbacks to extinction. At one point, 90% of this wet species were gone. There are now an estimated 80,000 Humpbacks left. 

We can only hope our great-great-great-great etc grand kids have the opportunity to see the same shoreline show. I'm sure they too will be grinning and smiling. 

It's all about pre-mating rituals for the whales in these tropical climes. Must be the warm temperatures I guess. Maybe a lot of Aloha too. 

I'm so happy we didn't kill them all. 

Good night,

Jeff