Sunday, May 6, 2018

A Road Trip Like...

no other.

That’s a good thing. 

I’m now in the waning days of a three month-plus on the road again trip. I’ll say it now. This tour has been the most challenging in the six years I’ve been Homeless by Choice.

It all began on February 12th after a six month hiatus from sleeping in a movable object. I had great expectations and high hopes for another worthwhile Barley the Van  roll through the Southwest. It was not to be. It’s was a stuttering, puttering and plodding quarter of a year. 

Why is that? Jeffy? 

Most of the reasons had been weather related. 


I spent a month in Death Valley National Park. Normally, average temperatures are pegging the orgasmic range. ( 74-82 degrees.) I was scoring low 60’s with a wind from Santa Claus’ address. On one hot (for a change) windy day, two date palm trees at Furnace Creek Resort were whipped down. It takes a lot of push to make an old palm tree go horizontal. 



All in all, wind was a constant unwanted companion. I’d say a typical week yielded three days of 25 mph plus breezes. Oftentimes my sleep was interrupted. I wish I could report it was the “When this Van is rockin‘ don’t come knockin’” type of motion. But it wasn’t. It was the damn wind.

You can now find my name in the Guinness Book of Records for the highest CPM of the wind. (Curses per Minute). 



This caused my route selection to be determined by the Weather Channel app. 

Instead of heading to the wild lands I wanted to revisit IE: Escalante region or the Cedar Mesa Areas Of Utah. (Too icy or too wet). I sojourned to warmer places such as Palm Springs, CA. ( probably not the best choice for a straight male looking for a girlfriend ) and Borrego Springs, CA ( a pleasant surprise. ) 




I was in reaction mode of travel instead of an action mode. 

Towards the end of this trip, I surrendered when the forecast turned malicious. I said “Screw it!” and headed to beer and 420 friendlier Colorado. The thought of spending another night in Blanding, UT (yawn) would have had me reaching for Prozac. I couldn’t do it. 

Don’t misunderstand me, it wasn’t all painful. I caught a weather break in Zion and Canyonlands, Those National Parks proved to be the Apex of the nasty spring of 2018. There were a few other “Eureka!” moments, but not that many. 

It was a shame Mother Nature didn’t cooperate. I was so hoping for an easy, gentle transit through the Southwest. I wanted to be reminded on why I live this homeless, nomadic and sociable Hermit-like existence. It didn’t happen.

For the first time of Barley the Van travel, I caught the loneliness bug. It was a virus I thought I had immunity to. The malady made me introspective. 

Back in 2013, Robin (the best sister-in-law in the World) asked me if I enjoyed living and traveling in a Van. I quickly answered, “Yes! It feels right!”

On this Southwest sashay, It rarely felt right.

I’m now in Colorado’s Great Sand Dunes National Park. I’ll admit it. It feels right to be in my “Home” State. 

If future road trips are as rough as this one, I’ll buy an immovable address somewhere in the “Centennial State.”

It might be time for a change...

Jeff




Sunday, April 29, 2018

“Cause you got to have friends.”

Bette Midler.


The world has many National Park groupies. I’m one of them. Among us Natural Wonder aficionados, we all harbor our favorites. That’s the Park where just hearing the name causes our involuntary systems to kick in. Our heart pumps an extra thump. We don our happy faces. It’s a lovesick reaction to a place that’s special to us. It’s a feeling of friendship. 

For me, it’s Canyonlands National Park in Utah. I’ve been visiting this“Wilderness of Rock” for over a quarter of a century. Throughout those years, I’ve shared the Park with a few girlfriends. I have lots of smirky memories from those times. It’s a true sign of friendship and respect when you show off your significant other to an Old Buddy.

On this visit to Canyonlands, I came unattached. A condition I’m feeling less and less thrilled about. But Hey! That’s what friends are for. The good buddies pick you up, dust you off and push you back out on the trail. Canyonlands knows me. Hitting the trails is just what I needed.




So...for a week, I woke at first light. After my morning rituals, I hit the trail. I then performed my two-pot of coffee trot past other Early Risers for the first few miles. When the sounds of strangers huffing and puffing were a distant memory, I’d ease off on the throttle. I wanted to spend quiet, quality time with an Old Pal. It’s more meaningful that way. The truly wonderful thing is not once did Canyonlands kvetch, “You never call. You never write.” It’s a guilt free relationship. 

Enough about my buddy-ship with an inanimate object. Let me “learn” you about Canyonlands National Park. A good way to describe CNP is this way. How can a Park have three Districts and each one be so different? 



There’s Island in the Sky with it’s Big Views. It’s the closest to Moab and the most visited. The Mesa is attached to the mainland by a narrow neck. When geological erosional forces eventually win, this will truly be an Island in the Sky. It contains the mountain bike friendly 100 mile White Rim Trail. (Been there, done that five times). 

There’s the Maze, a convoluted and contorted  District which requires a more-than-macho 4x4 vehicle to conquer. I’ve been there one time. I’d love to go back. It’s aMazing. BTW. There’s no toilets, water or 7/11’s. What you lug in, must come out, plus your poop. Read all about it.


Included in the Maze District is Horseshoe Canyon. A separate unit housing the mystical and beguiling rock art of the Grand Gallery. Look but do not touch. It’s other claim to fame is being the canyon Aron Ralston stumbled into after amputating his own arm. But that’s another story. 




Lastly there’s my most cherished, The Needles District. It contains 60 miles of interconnecting trails of Joy. It’s accessible and intimate. I hiked most of them this past trip. The Needles rocks. 

All told Canyonlands is 527 square miles of Wild Lands. It receives less than a million visitors a year. Not bad-yet. The Park was established in 1964 (the same year as the Wilderness Act). It’s a young Park despite an over 300 million year geologic age. (Yes! Older than Adam and Eve.) 





I’ll wrap this up with a Canyonlands birthing story.

In the early 60’s, Bureau of Reclamation Commissioner Floyd Dominy escorted Secretary of the Interior Steward Udall on a flight over the confluence of the Green and Colorado Rivers. Dominy pointed down and said that would be the site of his “next” big dam. Udall thought not so much. That will be the confluence of my next big National Park. 

Every now and then, the Good Guys win. 

Cheers to more winnings. 

From windy (again) Blanding (yawn) Utah
Jeff

Last Photo. I bought property.



Saturday, April 21, 2018

Somethings Shouldn’t be Collected...

In the early 80’s, I went backpacking with three other firefighters to Utah’s Grand Gulch   region. It’s a beautiful canyon system featuring many rocky alcoves containing archeological wonders. On the hike, we came upon Turkey Pen Ruin. The site was substantial. There was an intact Kiva ( a round roofed ceremonial structure dug into the Earth ), a ladder leading down to the Kiva, tiny corn cobs, pot shards and a turkey pen. 

The turkeys weren’t utilized as the main dish at a pre-White Folks Thanksgiving Day Dinner. No. It was all about their feathers. The Ancient Ones used the plumage for making blankets and accessorizing their clothes. Turkeys were prized processions. 




We treated this outdoor museum with the respect it deserved. We took photos and nothing else. We walked away with a “how cool was that?” feeling. 

In 2012, I shouldered my backpack for a solo trip into Grand Gulch. I was looking forward to seeing Turkey Pen Ruin once again. Sadly, it had been ruined. The kiva, the ladder, the corn cobs, the pottery shards and the turkey pen were gone. Apparently, all had been plundered. The only things left were a few crumbly walls and rooms. 




I felt violated. Worse is the fact future generations have now been denied a “how cool was that?” moment at Turkey Pen Ruin. A few short sighted miscreants, vandals and clueless bastards screwed it up for all of us. A pox on them. 



I’ve visited many Ancient Ones ruins in the Southwest. Unfortunately the above story is not unique. Most of the sites have been demolished and plunked over. It’s gotten to the point where I’d rather hike to a rock art panel than a ruin site. It’s harder for the trouble makers to mess with pictographs and petroglyphs. 

Although they try. In Marble Canyon in Death Valley National Park, Bad People hauled in a battery powered drill for the purpose of creating modern day pictographs. Others scrawled on or nearby the ancient petroglyphs. 


Could someone please explain this antisocial behavior to me? Which leads me to another story...

A few years ago, I had the displeasure of being seated next to a hard drinking, dry coughing, turquoise wearing Wyoming drugstore cowboy at a group Happy Hour. He must have heard about the Wandering I do in the West. Between sips of his straight up whiskey, he asked me, “Ever come across Native Artifacts out there?” 




“Occasionally, but not that often. Most have been carted away by now.” 

He looked at me with Jack Daniel eyes and asked, “Well, do you keep them when you find them?”

“Hell No! First off, it’s against the law. (Archeological Resources Protection Act of 1979). Secondly, it’s wrong to take what really doesn’t belong to you. The artifacts found on Public Lands belong to everyone. Wouldn’t it be nice to have lots of people find an arrowhead on the ground than for one person to steal it?” 

He gave me a slurry response, “Well, that’s stupid. If you don’t take it the next person will.”




Folks! That’s the mindset which triggers the pilfering of Turkey Pen Ruin to happen. There’s too many people carrying feelings of entitlement. All for the sake of owning an old bauble. It’s a sad commentary about humanity. The future generations will understandably curse us once they discover what we’ve robbed them of.

Speaking of robbery. The Cedar Mesa/Grand Gulch area has recently been removed from National Monument status and protection. Shame on President Anti-Conservation and Secretary of Interior Toady Zinke  Your Grandkids will curse them too.

For further readings: “Finders Keepers” by Craig Childs 

For more blogs by opinionated W W J’s, please check out:




Don’t be a Meanie.  Leave the good stuff in place for everyone’s enjoyment.

Cheers!
Jeff