In November 2020, people will wake up...

blink a few times, look around and notice America isn't any greater. In fact, it'll be a lot worse. Many of you will look at the bottle of snake oil you purchased from the Billionaire Con Man, and read the fine print. 

"These four years of Bad Government are non-refundable."

The above was a quote from my  “Here’s a Virtual Toast to the New Dark Ages” blog. I posted it on New Year’s Eve 2016. In it, I made many predictions. More than half turned out to be correct. (Particularly, our Nation becoming a “Banana Republic.”)

https://jeffsambur.blogspot.com/2016/12/heres-virtual-toast.html

The post generated a lot of feedback. Here’s some examples:

“Jeff! It won’t be that bad. It’s just a typical political pendulum swing.”

“Don’t worry, his family will reel him in..”

“Trump will still have to maneuver through Congress.” 

“He’ll grow into the position. Who knows? Maybe Trump will turn out to be a great President.”

I responded to all with my usual semi-insane grin, “No. No. No. it’ll be bad. You guys weren’t paying attention. The bastard has no conscience. There is no low-bar. You’ll see.” 

In the past four years, our country has lurched from one controversy or crisis to another. Corruption and abuse of presidential powers became the new Rule of Law. Then again, what could we expect from a sociopathic serial Liar? 

That said the World’s Biggest Loser couldn’t have pulled this stunt off without enablers. GOP suck ups and sycophants stuck with him like toilet paper on a shoe. 

The results have been a chaotic form of non-Government. 

And along came Covid. 

In the past, America’s leaders often rose to the occasion of a calamity. Their speeches were geared toward ALL Americans. Something along these lines. My fellow Americans we have a problem. For the good of all, lets work together to find a workable solution. 

But NOOOO! At a time when the US needed Leadership and a strong Federal Response, the Self described Stable Genius fumbled the ball. He pet the pooch. He went contrarian at a historical moment which called for unity. The results have been catastrophic and devastating.

On November 3rd, 2020, voters went to the polls, oftentimes braving Covid and the elements to make a statement. Enough of this BS. Go away Fat Man. We want grown up Government again. 

As we know the story didn’t end there. 224 years of peaceful transitions of power has been interrupted by a Cretin. Since the Election reasonable Americans have been  witnessing a train wreck in slow motion. The culmination was a premeditated attempted White Taliban coup, incited by a Scumbag who swore to uphold the concepts laid forth in our Constitution. 

Here’s his inspiring speech to the Rebels without a clue.

“We're going to walk down to the Capitol. You’ll never take back our country with weakness, you have to show strength, and you have to be strong,” 

Then Mr. Bone Spurs retreated to a Covid incubator tent along with his Evil Spawn. Later, Donald Dumbest Junior released a video of what transpired in that virus sauna. The vibe seemed festive as if they were viewing the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, instead of a day of infamy. I felt revulsion, anger and nausea at the same time. I want to see them all in Orange jumpsuits.

We aren’t done with this four year shit show. The former Commander in Tweet still owns the Bully Pulpit. Unless the 25th Amendment is invoked or Impeachment II, there will be more wanton acts of arson to our democratic institutions and principles. There will be more senseless death and destruction. 

When the smoke and tear gas settles, (if we make it through to 1/20/21) all Americans need to do some soul searching. There are tyrants in the world. Evil exists. Democracy requires a hands on approach for it to work. We are now seeing the 2016 results where too many good intentioned Americans sat on the sidelines. This is how Democracies die.

I’ll leave you with a notable quote which sums up our present situation:

“The absurd lie of all the divisive hucksters who have seized control of this country-that you don’t have to answer for anything anymore, so long as it’s done in the name of patriotism and the American way of life.”

From “Chosen Country.” By James Pogue

What’s your Covid number?

Winter has struck in Durango. I don’t venture outdoors too often, Its potential hypothermia and icy out there. I now find myself in extended periods of solitary confinement. 

Fortunately I still posses an active imagination. ( I haven’t murdered all the gray matter with my daily solo IPA Happy Hours. Yet! )

So without further ado, my blog...

There’s 331 million Americans with nearly that many opinions on dealing/existing with the scourge of Covid. We need to quantify where we all stand, sit or lie down on this complicated issue. So I invented the “Sambini Covid Zero-to-Ten Scale of Pathogen Personal Prerogatives.”

I know what you’re thinking. What the Hell is that! Patience Grasshopper while I explain. 

And in the beginning Jeff created a scale....

0: An American who asks, “What’s Covid?”

1: Americans who claim the virus is nothing more than a hoax. They refuse to wear masks. It runs counter to their individual rights. They consider themselves to be True Patriots. Just ask them.

2: Americans who are Covid aware, but believe it’s transmitted from contact with dirty toilet seats. Therefore no need to wear a mask.

3: Americans who will begrudgingly mask up to gain access to a public building. Once inside, masks migrate below their chin line. 

4: Americans whose masks slide below their noses. We’ve all seen this look. 

5: These are the middle-of-the-roaders. They are Team Players who will don masks in public buildings, yet they bear a business as usual approach to the pandemic. They are so-so about social distancing. If pressed, they will state, “I won’t live my life in fear of Covid.” 

6: Is a 5’er who won’t shake your hand or give you a hug.

7: Americans who wear a mask in all public buildings and occasionally in outside settings. They won’t be found in an inside bar, restaurant or on an airplane. Seven’s will have occasional lapses of good judgement at outdoor social gatherings. Abundant alcohol use is often the cause. (I confess! I’m guilty!) 

8: Americans who have changed their routines and schedules around Covid. Eight’s will limit their exposure to other Americans. They’ll grocery shop at the opening bell when most others are still in bed. They’ve pared their needs to the basics. Food, alcohol and a quarterly haircut. 

9: Extreme mask use and very limited public appearances. These are the people seen wearing a mask while driving alone.

10: The Uber extreme side of Covid. They’ve gone missing since the initial March lockdown. All food, alcohol and other necessities are Amazon Prime delivered. If your timing is perfect you might see an outstretched gloved hand snatching up a bevy of cardboard boxes. Their homes are hermetically sealed too. 

That’s my easy to follow rating system.

In America no invention/idea is worth anything if you can’t sell or scam it. Since my book sales have been more or less comatose like my social engagements, 

(Find “Destroying Demons on the Diagonal” on Amazon below:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006VXRMUG/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

I’m launching the Sambini “What’s your Covid Number?”  line of t-shirts, jackets, sweatshirts  and of course masks.

My activewear will feature “COVID” in bright contrasting colors in the front and on the back. Below that will be your number on how you personally view the virus. ( I probably won’t sell many 0’s, 1’s or 10’s.) I’ll make a great line of clothes—and nobody makes better clothes than me, believe me. And I’ll make the manufacturer’s pay for that great gear. Mark my words. 

Plus with every sale you’ll get a free set of Ginsu knives. Such a deal!

BTW. I consider myself to be a solid 7.5.

Cheers to a better 2021, (no matter what your number is.)

Jeff

Our Worst Years.

We’ve all had them. 365 days when nothing seems to go right. We feel jinxed and abhor these extended moments. We crave to tack up a new wall calendar, one with the promise of better days ahead.

In my 66 years, I’ve had two notable years that (I’ll be blunt) SUCKED! 

In 1972, I was just seventeen when my dear Mom passed away. To this day, I dwell on how I lost years of her potentially positive influence. There was so much more goodness, gentleness and generosity I could have acquired from that tiny woman. I feel like I was robbed of so many lessons I might have learned. 

2010  was the beginning of another infamous year. In the late fall, a driver made a hard left into me and my bicycle. My helmeted head and shoulder snapped off the sedan’s side mirror. My left knee twisted. I didn’t lose consciousness, so I came up cursing. The young male driver was wise enough to apologize. This incident triggered a downward spiral of poop including:

A) The worst orthopedic quack in the world ignoring the prescribed MRI report. Thus performing an unnecessary surgery on a knee that was merely bruised but not broken. I came out of surgery barely able to amble. Apparently his arthroscopic skill level bordered on barbaric. Weeks later, when I called him on his haste not to glance at my MRI report, his retort? “I only scoped you. Get over it.” I should have decked him.

B) I began 2011 attending PT sessions to relearn how to walk. It was well into March before I could limp up trails. As part of my PT I hesitantly returned to bicycle riding. By April, I performed my favorite Tucson activity. I left.  On July 11th, I was bicycle touring in Montana when I was struck from behind by a speeding sedan. An accident which should have killed me, but I beat the odds. It takes more than 11 broken vertebrae, a busted sternum and 20 stitches in my face to put me in an urn. So...back to PT I went to alleviate the damages. I freaking hated 2011. I was robbed by three nincompoops of a year’s worth of play, health and happiness. If you’re detecting bitterness, you are correct.

2020 of course has been rotten for most of humanity. As the saying goes, “Misery loves company.” For once I have plenty of company, but I can’t speak to them without wearing a mask. Forget about touching anyone! It’s been a tough year to be sociable. Even for a hermit who occasionally socializes like me. 

We’ve all been robbed physically, emotionally, economically and for 323,000 Americans their very existence. It’s been one drawn out mess. We are now mired down in a winter of Covid discontent. New cases and daily death counts are soaring. A pathogen caused 911 disaster each day.

BUT! There’s hope on the horizon. It comes in a little vial and requires two applications. Yes, the vaccine. I’m waiting impatiently until it’s my turn at bat. Until then I’ll stay in solitary confinement. However, I’m well aware that the vast majority of Americans need to get onboard the vaccination train. It’s the way to achieve Herd Immunity. It’s not called Lone Wolf Immunity for a reason. Please. Be a Team Player so we can all reenter into a more normal society. (I’ll buy you drinks at a real Happy Hour if you do!) 

Wishing you and yours a saner, safer and healthier 2021.

Cheers,

Jeff

Last photo: Take That 2020!