I got parboiled on Crete...

while hiking a teenie weenie bit of the ultra-long distance E4 trail. For those unfamiliar with the E4 (like me before I arrived on Crete), it's a 10,000 plus kilometers jaunt from Portugal through lots of other European countries culminating on the Greek Island of Cypress. In other words, it's longer than America's Pacific Crest Trail and Continental Divide Trail combined! 

I think you would need more than one pair of trail runners to complete it.

I asked a few locals their opinion on attempting to hike 20 kilometers (12.5 miles) in one day. They then looked at me in a funnier way than usual. 

One helpful man said, "That's a two day hike! It's hot and there's little drinking water along the way. The trail is rocky too." 

This man was correct on all counts.

Here's the trail description from Wikipedia: 

"A walk can take longer than anticipated because of poor way marking, or because paths are blocked, or dangerously eroded. Walkers should therefore be prepared for long diversions, and never presume that you will reach the intended destination, including the final one, on time, or on a specific day."

In an olive nutshell, the trail stinks on ice! Although today, a chunk of frozen water would have been received as a gift from the Greek Gods. 

Plus! There were heaps of naked elderly German couples along the E4's beaches and coves. I strode past one group in the morning. They were still sunning their sexual organs four hours later! They hadn't moved or even twitched. How much vitamin D does a body need?  

It was so hot, I decided to take a dip in the Libyan Sea. I went in naked as the morning Clara Sambur gave birth to me. I found a pocket of isolation to partake in my birthday suit ablution. The water sizzled as I submerged myself. Let me tell you, I was HOT! 

Look at the photos: the scenery is reminiscent of a seaside Death Valley National Park. Pretty stark. 

I'm working on chugging the second gallon of water for the day. It's Happy Hour so I'm mixing the H2O with a dark lager. 

Hydration is the key to health and survival.

From Hora Station,

Cheers,

Jeff

From the last photo: check out the trail's designers.