How to Hug a Redwood...

I’m a tree hugger. That’s probably one of the BIGLY-est reasons I attended Syracuse’s College of Environmental Sciences and Forestry. I reckoned my career path would lead me to many trails of trees. 

In the late 70’s, I worked for the US Forest Service for four seasons. When my co-workers weren’t looking, I’d sneak in an occasional squeeze on a big green specimen. 

Now, I’m gainfully unemployed. I don’t give an empty can of IPA of what others think. 

However, I’m willing to share my secrets with my Billions of WW J blog fans out there. Here’s how it’s done with pictures even! (Photo credit and kudos to Lisa P. Strong Work!)

1) Approach the tree in a friendly manner. A “Hello!” wave Is a great ice breaker.

1a) If you desire a more formal introduction, you can perform the Japanese “Salarymen” method and present a business card first. 

2) After the rudimentary introduction, schmooze a little. I’m partial to the following one-liners:

“Come here often?”, “Nice day if it don’t rain.” and the always popular, “What’s your sign?”

3) When the conversation is on the wane, demurely ask, “Would it be OK if we hugged before parting ways?” (Authentic Tree Huggers always ask first. You don’t want to become infamous as being a “Bark-Grabbing” loser.) 

4) When permission is hopefully granted, lean in with arms extended, close your eyes and thank the Deity of your choice for saving the last remaining 5% of the Old Growth Redwoods left in the World. 

Now here’s  the History Lesson about goodness in people and Government Agencies.

Before the 1920’s, Logging Companies did what they do, shout “Timber!” after making the final cut in the tree. Those Behemoths of Biomass were crashing to the Earth at an Jeff Sambur nano-second rate. (That’s fast!) All that falling Redwood decking and shingles got the attention of good (and rich) concerned citizens and the State of California. 

What did they do? 

I’ll tell you what they did. They began buying up pockets of the precious Old Growth groves left from the lumbermen. Those nice wealthy folks (with an Un-Koch Brothers) conscience, donated the acreage to the state. Their payment was a humble sign proclaiming who purchased the grove. That’s a genuine mitzvah (Good Deed).

Those State of California Dreamin’ bureaucrats bought groves too. Eventually three State Parks were created to preserve the Old Dude Redwoods. 

In the late 60’s, the Feds got involved. They purchased more Old Growth from the logging companies, thus creating Redwood National Park. 

In 1998, California and the National Park Service combined the management scheme into one 132,000 acre State and National Park for all tree huggers.to enjoy. (Regardless of race, creed  or religion.) 

Sadly, less than one third of those salvaged from the brink groves are considered Old Growth. However in about 2,000 years (if left alone) the infant and teenage Redwoods will be the new Green Skyscrapers of the Pacific Northwest. 

So... Teach your children to hug trees. It might impart upon them a desire to preserve the Natural Wonders left in this crazy, money-mad, short-sighted World.

Last photo: This is what a former Redwood clearcut looks like. OK. That’s Fake News. The photo was taken in the John Day Fossils National Monument in the high desert country of eastern Oregon. Trust me though, a Redwood clearcut is NOT as impressive as the Standing Tall variety. Want to get inspired? Go and see for yourself. 

From Strawberry Campground in Malheur National Forest. Good night,

Jeff